It's bad enough when you have problems... but it seems to get so much worse when all your friends are going through something similar and you feel almost hopeless in helping them. Do your best, try to be a friend to them, and let them know that you understand how it feels. Just try to keep them looking forward to the future, and also ask them if they would want to get some kind of professional help. And other than that, just try your best to be a good friend. There's not much else you can do... there's probably a reason that they turned to you :). Maybe because they think that you can understand, or just because they trust you. I know it may be stressful, but just giving them someone that they can talk to is a great help. It's tough especially when you've lost a friend to this already, but it's never your fault... you just gotta try your best. If it's really concerning, try and get them to talk to someone, a parent, a teacer, anything. :).
As for the friend that blames you...? People deal with their emotions differently. Some people just need someone else to push everything on to help them feel better. I'm not saying this makes it right, but I just want you to know that you shouldn't take that to heart. Haven't you said some things when you were depressed that you really didn't mean? I'm sure you have... I know that when I was depressed and pushed to the limit, I sometimes said some pretty stupid things that I never meant in the first place...
So, let's focus on you, alright? You've attempted once...? Well,, since that time, did you not experience some moments that made you happy? Be honest with yourself... did you not have a smile on your face every now and then? Do you regret not having it work the first time? Because it's the same now... things can start getting better... sometimes they get worse again, but you just have to keep working forward and trying your best to make the best of your life. Time is key... and so is patience. I know it's hard, and sometimes you just want to give up, but look towards the future. Set yourself a goal, something that you want to see... Maybe it's to later help those with depression, maybe it's to raise a happy family, maybe it's to see the day where you no longer have the eating disorder :). Whatever it is, hold on to that goal, and work towards it. Whether it's long term or short term, at least it gives you something to aim towards :).
What your mom said... don't take it to heart. Parents get upset, they get frustrated, and sometimes they even blame themselves. My dad once said, "why are you doing this to me?" when he found out that I was doing mild cutting. Really... he just cared about me, but sometimes, he said things that I'll never forget. Things that were so hurtful and that will stick with me for the rest of my life... but I also knew that he didn't really mean it. The stress, the depression... sometimes you just say things that you really wish you could take back, or things that you don't realize hurt someone so deeply.
Do your best to keep working forward, alright? If you feel it coming back, talk to someone! Call a friend, talk to your parents, come on livewire. Anything that can help keep you distracted until the feeling passes. Those little moments in life where you can smile or laugh (maybe from the stupidest little joke) make life worth living sometimes, no?
I wish you the best of luck, alright? Keep hanging in there. You must be a strong person if you've held up so far :). Best of luck, and feel free to PM me any time if you feel the need!
And as a parting note...
Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One muffin says, "Wow, it's really hot in here," and the other muffin says, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
Come on... didn't it put even the smallest of smiles on you face? Take care alright! Hope things get better for you :).
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