Getting medication is an excellent first step if you feel they are making a difference, but ideally you want to accompany that treatment with some counselling or therapy just to check and make sure you don't have any underlying issues that it would be good to address. If you do this now while you are still young then you can get on with your life and form happy and healthy relationships without having to go through life destroying yourself and being depressed. You really should ask your doctor or your school counsellor about your options with regards to some therapy so that you can get on with your life and not be held back in the past by such negative emotions.

As for the rumours....

Rumours happen - everyone has these things said about them, particularly in school where you're in  very close environment full of excited people who tend to bend the truth. ONe person says something that gets passed on to another and then another and along the way it gets embellished an you end up with something that's nothing like the truth.

The worst thing here of course is that you never actually told the truth and the entire rumour is based on a lie and you are probably suffering some degree of guilt from that because you think this is all your own fault. SO you made a mistake - big deal. We all make mistakes and anyone who tries to hold that against you is a big fat hypocrite! Sometimes we say things to make ourselves fit in or seem more important and sometimes people just don't understand us so we change the truth a little to get them to understand how we really feel. It's unfortunate that this lie got so out of control but really if you come clean and tell your friends at least then I think they'd be pretty unfair to hold it against you - O wouldn't mind betting they've told a few lies to be better accepted at some point.

I think you should try and talk to this guy alone sometime. Obviously the rumours make it difficult to do that when he is with his mates or whatever, but when he is alone you should try and get to talk to him or perhaps write him a letter or something so that you can explain what it is you said and why and explain that you have these feelings for him and that your relationship with him was very special to you. You can ask if there is any hope of working things  out and then if he says absolutely no then maybe you can at least get that closure and hope to move on. However I think you won't get that closure unless you do actually communicate your feelings to him somehow - and either a private chat or a letter would be ideal. Just try to sort out for hi the rumour from the truth and be honest People respond well to honesty even when it is belated because it is always respectable and when it is hard to be honest like it is for you now people tend to respect you for it even more.

Good luck.

Posted at 4:20 pm on May 3, 2008

However, even though your friends didn't understand your obsession with this guy, it's not a reason to lie to them. Do they know that you were lying yet, or have you told them the truth? If you haven't, I think you need to talk to them. Lying isn't good and part of you is probably still feeling guilty for it.

But, moving onto the situation with this guy, I think it's important you try and talk to him and tell him your feelings. I realise this is pretty much impossible to do in person, so I'd suggest you write him a letter and find a way to give it to him, and make sure he reads it. I think it's important that he knows how you really feel, gossip and rumours aside.

His unrequited love is probably a huge part of your depression, but I'm sure there are other factors involved. Being on medication is definitely a step towards getting better, but have you considered some form of therapy? It sounds like you really need somebody you can talk to openly, without being judged, and I think that therapy might be one way you can do this.

I hope things work out for you, good luck!

Posted at 1:15 pm on May 3, 2008