I can understand that you might feel that people wouldn't understand or take you seriously when you tell them the whole truth and that what you have basically done - if I'm not mistaken - is to explain things in such a way as to paint the picture as you see it. SO if you know that something in your life seems terrible to you but other people might not think it so then you exaggerate it enough  so that they will sahre the sae perception and emotional response to it that you do.

Taking your Dad for example, you say 20 years because to you it might as well be 20 years. It feels that way to you and so you tell it that way because you don't feel other people will understand it so well if you say 7.

I sympathise with that. I don't there's a person alive who hasn't embellished or exaggerated events in their life at some point in order to communicate to other people how they actually felt about them when they felt that was the only way to make them understand.

However, to do it to the extent where you feel you have mislead people in the way that you have is clearly wrong. People will be angry with you and hurt because they will feel that you didn't give them the chance to show you that they cared. They will feel that you didn't trust them. They will wonder why you had to come to them and lie instead of just telling them the truth and being honest as they have (supposedly) been with you. So they're going ot feel let down, disappointed, angry and betrayed. They thought they knew you and now they have to ask themselves what exactly DO they know about you - if you tell one lie then who's to say you won't tell more?

I personally would always give you another chance. We are here for a support forum and for whatever reason the form of support you needed was reassurance. You needed to know that people would like you and respond to you even if you told the truth, but in order to find that ou you had to come here and scope us out. You've done that and now you think we're a reasonably nice group of people and you feel sad that you didn't trust us in the first place. For whatever reason that was the support you needed - that was your way of finding your way and learning to trust us, and I would happily give you a second chance. I think anyone who fails to do otherwise is letting down the ethos of the site.

Posted at 11:31 am on May 6, 2008

I guess it is not a nice thing to lie, but at one stage in everyone's life I'm sure they do it too, even i have done it not on line but to the people around me which i personally think is worse. I have found myself exaggerating to help people understand my case. I think if you had flat out lied about the situation, i would not think that was fine, i would be angry.

I don't think it is a big deal to be honest, I'm pretty sure you are not the only person to exaggerate their problems on here. You did it to make yourself feel heard, i know what it is like when no one understands the situation, so i can perfectly understand why you did what you did. Things can easily spiral out of control when stuff like this happens. It it gets exaggerated more as time goes by, which is most often the case. I think it would be wrong if you were to make stuff up about illness striking a family member or something, which best to my knowledge you have not.

If you worried about the people around you, perhaps you should be honest with them about what you have done because there is always a chance that this could well come out eventually. People are more likely to forgive if you personally tell them about it, not finding out from someone else. Maybe you should tell them individually that you were telling the truth, but things happened to exaggerate, I'm sure they would be annoyed with you but if they really do care they will forgive you. I'm sure you would not like if someone lied to you. But it is up to you what you want to do. Personally i would be relieved that things were not as bad i would be annoyed but relived at the same time. I don't think it is a big deal but sure other people would have other opinions. I would be more annoyed if i did not know personally.

Good luck!

Posted at 11:22 am on May 6, 2008