LiveWire Network Peer Answers Peer Support Teen Forums Tech Forums College Forums 691 users online 165644 members 1442 active today Advertise Here Sign In
TeenCollegeTechPhotos | Quizzes | LiveSecret | Video | Dictionary | News | FAQ
You have 1 new message.
Emergency Help
Until you sign up you can't do much. Yes, it's free.

Sign Up Now
Membername:
Password:
Already have an account?
Invite Friends
Active Members
Groups
Contests
Moderators
5 online / 46 MPM
Fresh Topics
  LiveWire / My Forums / Resources / Emergency Help Center / Viewing Message

Viewing Message
From: (Not Displayed) Received: 3:13 pm on May 6, 2008 Return to Inbox
Subject: friend needs help, but won't get it.
my friend, who lives in a completely different state than I do, is going through a really really hard time after his girlfriend dumped him. He won't get help, he thinks his parents won't do anything (I don't know them so I don't know if he's telling the truth), he says the schools won't help him without telling his parents or sending him to a hospital. I don't know how to help him anymore, and I'm worried about him...
Add Reply Return to Inbox

Replies
As has already been said, the limits of your power are, well...limited.  You can only do so much for someone who lives that far away and whose parents you don't know.  You can continue to advise him to get help, but beyond that you're basically crippled.  I have to say, I think it is odd that your friend says his parents won't help, but obviously he hasn't asked them for help since he is scared that in going to the school, they will talk to his parents.  It sounds like he either doesn't want help or is scared to get it.

Often what people who are struggling with grief (which is what often happens after a significant relationship ends) need is someone just to be there.  You can do that (figuratively of course) no matter where you are.  The best thing left for you to do is just to listen and give sound advice.  (As a matter of fact, you might direct your friend to LiveWire.  A lot of people find help with their problems here.)

Other than that, you can't do much but hope for the best.  Pray 'em if you got 'em.

Posted at 8:41 am on May 11, 2008

Hey there,

I know it must be hard to accept and it is good that your caring for him, but there is not alot you, yourself can personally do for him. All you can do is when he is depressed is for you to talk things through and comfort him this might make him feel a little better. I know it seems like the end of the world to begin with when someone dumps you but explain to him that things will get better and easier as time goes on. I know it seems like it wont but it will.

If he is really feeling bad about himself maybe he should tell his parents because ultimately he is their flesh and blood and I'm sure they will care regardless of what he might have done in the past. Talking about things is one of the best ways for things to get better otherwise the problems just carry on and build up to a point where it gets even worse. Maybe he could could get referred to a counsellor because every thing said there is confidently, so he would not have to worry about that. I know it is scary for him, but if he gets better then it is worth it, right?

If he intent on not telling anyone, do you have a number for his parents and give them a quick call? I think they should know. I think where is under the age, i think the school has the duty to contact the parents, but the best way would be for him, to tell his parents himself. Maybe is one of those people who do not like to confide in people especially parents because you never know how they are going to react, but regardless im sure they would appreciate being told because after all im sure they would just be worried about him.

I hope i have helped, Good luck!

Posted at 3:24 pm on May 6, 2008

Add Reply