my name is abby, and im 17..a rising senior in highschool.... almost exactly a year ago I re-met a friend of mine. (we had known each other 2 years before that) his name is jeremy. hes had a very tough childhood and has been through a lot, but hes a pretty good person. so we started dating last summer. its as if he had disappeared before, and then showed up again (because he had been living with his mom who lived in the same town as me, but she kicked him out, for no good reason, and then he went to live with his grandmother a town over.) but since he had graduated, (hes 2 years older than me)..he came back into my life and started going to church with me.

we dated from july until october...(in july he enlisted in the marines, and he was supposed to leave for boot camp on halloween.) we had a great relationship for a while and spent a lot of time together...it seemed that I was really all he had, because he didnt have much of a family...but that began to be too much pressure on me and we ended up breaking up right b4 he left for boot camp...bc I got scared. I knew dating a marine would be hard. (this boy was in love with me...and I was in love with him).

when he came back after 3 months..i had moved on...with ethan...i guess I just got lonely...and I just wanted to see how things worked out bc ethans a pretty cool guy. after 3 months of boot camp jeremy was allowed 10 days at home b4 he started training. so we spent some time together, and he let me know how upset he was because he still loved me. that was the hardest 10 days of my life bc I was just so confused and guilty all of that time. the last few days he was home, he went on a church retreat with me and we had some good times. but each time we got close...hed say.."i want to touch you again...but you have a bf" it hurt so much..bc I didnt want to date ethan anymore...i wanted what I had b4.

the day jeremy left...i kissed him. and he told me he loved me and said to let him know when I was single.

well the last couple weeks of my relationship with ethan were kinda rocky...he knew about jeremy but he didnt know I loved him...but I think he could tell that I wasnt even trying..bc something had changed, so he ended it with me. I called jeremy as soon as I could. and we dated for 2 months. (ethan knew of this and wasnt happy at all bc I had told him I didnt like jeremy so that he wouldnt be all worried when jeremy came home b4)

the whole time we dated the second time..he was across the state training. and near the end of that 2 months, he found out he had to go to california...across the country. thats when it got harder..once again he got very worried and didnt trust me. so he ended it..but mainly bc training was getting tough and he wouldnt be able to talk to me for a while.

which brings me to my problem. ive been kicking it single for summer...and within a matter of 2 days...both ethan and jeremy came back into my life..jeremy called home after quite a while and said that hed be coming home for a few days this summer. (tomorrow!!) ethan and I started talking again about a week ago..nothing big, just casual. one good thing is that the whole time jeremy is here, ethan will be away on a mission trip so itll give me time to think. (and thats great because neither guy likes each other very much..and neither one of them know that I still talk to the other) the day b4 ethan left for his mission trip earlier this week, he gave me this crazy long speech about how he never wants to lose me again and that he wants to date again and he was stupid to lose me the 1st time, blah blah blah. jeremys expecting to do something with me once again also...i feel like I have to choose between the two and im overwhelmed!! im in love with jeremy..i want to marry him someday.

but hes gunna have to grow up 1st. I am growing to love ethan..but ethan is going to be around, and hes my age, and   hes a christian like me....and jeremy has little faith in anything. everything is catching up with me fast. is it possible to love 2 people at the same time?? what do I tell both of them?? I need advice fast!! and this is the 1st time ive ever NOT known what to do!! help me please??