They met online in July 2005 at the time Amy was 15 and Robert was 17 they are now 18 and 16 now.  So they got talking whatever. And eventually his mother told them they were going to move to Ohio which just happened to be like 45 minutes away from where Amy lived. Previously he lived in Iowa many hours apart.

So with this happening they decide to meet in September 2005 and within a month their officially dating.  This goes fine for a while until she decides to be stupid.  He has a silver flip phone and she said when it shines in the light it looks like has pulling out a knife and wants to kill her.  He thought this was crazy because he was nothing but nice to her and eventually she just kept assuming the phone was a knife and they broke up in January 06 when she said to him I cant be with you imp too afraid your going to slit my throat.

So my friend was just like...how does she get this assumption this is crazy I would never kill her.  So time goes on and they just become more distant and more distant and she makes excuses not to talk to him and whatever.  So from January to April they barely talked at all.  Then in April she asks him to go to a movie and he says ok and they go and everything is like before the sling the throat incident.

So the summer goes on and she would be on and off with him and sometimes would hold his hand but if his mom looked their way she would pull away so the mother wouldn’t see them holding hands.  Then she started to flirt with him again too and she saw him once in a while to go to the movies or something.  

Then this weekend is just what confused us both.  She goes to a movie with him Friday and decides to hold hands this time when her mom looks over she doesn’t pull away then they go to grocery store later on and she does the same thing.  Then she asks him to sleep over her house and her mother says ok long as he doesn’t sleep in the same room as you.  So that’s what happened she was hanging with him till bout 3 then she went to bed in the other room.  Then Sunday morning she was being flirty again and not pulling back holding hands.

So he approaches her about it and:

Robert: you said you don't want to be in a relationship with me because of how much you care about me and how close we are, and how you don't want to ruin that by having us break up, right?
Robert: not as the only reason why, but just as part of it?
Amy: yeah.
Amy: Yeah.*
Amy: I don't want to ruin it by going out with you, and having things happen that I don't approve of, and then hating you for it.  I just don't want anything to lead to hate.
Robert: Amy...we broke up before, remember?
Robert: it brought me closer to you
Robert: because it made me realize how much you mean to me, and how much I really do care about you, and how I didn't want to lose you entirely
Amy: I don't ever want to date you again.
Robert: =/
Robert: well...thanks for being straight-forward, I guess
Amy: I remember at first, I told you that we were too close and that we should probably never actually go out.
Amy: Once we did, I thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened because to me, it felt like I was trap and things I said were being traced.  I couldn't be sick, because to say no to seeing you meant that the world was pretty much ending.  It was like so frustrating because I couldn't satisfy us both.

Amy: Be happy with what I have to offer.
Robert: you said you don't want to date me/be with me ever again
Amy: Not nw.
Amy: now*
Amy: I feel like I don't.
Amy: So, later doesn't matter because I'm not a prophet to tell if there ever will be a 'later'.
Robert: no...you said ever again

Amy: That's how I feel now.
Amy: Doesn't mean it could change.
Amy: You forget, a lady changes her mind more than the clock ticks.
Amy: couldn't*
Robert: and you forget that a guy has just as many feelings as a girl
Amy: Okay.
Amy: What you want is ME.
Amy: That's all you want.
Amy: You seem to not want to settle for anything less.
Amy: I can't help that.
Amy: I tell you everything that goes on my life.  You know more about me than like anyone in this world.  You're more than a friend.  You do more than listen, and care.

Amy: I want to be there for you when you're at your worst.  
Amy: I don't want you in a sexual-kind of way.  
Robert: did I say you had to? no
Amy: I'm just telling you.
Robert: I don't want you to want me in that sort of way
Amy: Okay.
Robert: but you're throwing it away...so whatever
Amy: What am I throwing away?
Amy: Stuff that I don't want?
Robert: you know what, you're right
Robert: sorry I’m not what you want
Amy: I want you as a friend.
Amy: I want you, but not the way you want me to want you.
Amy: That's the thing.
Amy: That's where our differences clash.
Robert: I want you as someone I can hug and hold and be with and laugh with
Amy: You can.
Robert: obviously not by what you're saying
Amy: no.
Amy: No.
Robert: because that's what I see as a real relationship Amy
Amy: I want you to be there for me, and me be there for you through good and bad.
Robert: not the kissing, not any sexual stuff, none of it
Amy: I want to hug, and laugh.
Amy: That's what I want.
Robert: it's the connection and bond you build with someone
Amy: So, at least we want the same thing there.
Robert: that's what I  see as a relationship
Robert: if you see it as something else, then I guess we don't see eye-to-eye

Amy: I don't want a relationship where if I don't like something, I can't back out of it.
Robert: and the only way I see doing what I want, is in a relationship with someone, and not as "just friends"
Robert: because that's where I see it as being lies
Amy: How is it all lies?
Amy: You mean, you can laugh, hug, hold, and be with someone only in a relationship?  What do you consider a friendship then?  You can't laugh, be there, and such for them either?
Robert: not the way we have Amy
Robert: but, I get it Amy
Robert: you don't love me that way anymore

So he told me about this and I didn’t know what to tell him can anyone shed some light on this subject and possibly what her mindset/expectations are thanks.  It just makes no sense to us that one minute she’s holding his hand and flirting then hours later she says this.


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My Website www.harvestmoonparadise.com
Another good site www.avatarcheck.com

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Ok uh thats true but isnt companionship part of a relationship as well

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But if she doesn't want a relationship then he shouldn't force it upon her, if she really cares and loves him more than a friend, she'll come to him in time, just as long as he shows a general interest.

But It will be hell trying to be close friends and always wanting more.

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Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

Robert wants what he is defining as a "meaningful relationship" with Amy, and this relationship would be boyfriend-girlfriend formalized. Meaning he wants the relationship to be similar to really good friends, who are there for eachother no matter what. Who are willing to support the other through anything. However, there is no sexual portion to the relationship, whatsoever.

Amy wants more-or-less the same thing, but doesn't want to formalize it at all. Just a passive relationship in which they help eachother, but without the gritty details of "going out."

FP

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I think we are in rats' alley
Where the dead men lost their bones.

Best of luck!

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If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

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Let me see if I understand this right:

Robert wants what he is defining as a "meaningful relationship" with Amy, and this relationship would be boyfriend-girlfriend formalized. Meaning he wants the relationship to be similar to really good friends, who are there for eachother no matter what. Who are willing to support the other through anything. However, there is no sexual portion to the relationship, whatsoever.

Amy wants more-or-less the same thing, but doesn't want to formalize it at all. Just a passive relationship in which they help eachother, but without the gritty details of "going out."

FP

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No not excatly some guys refuse to even date a girl unless they have sex, blow job, etc.  Hes just saying that hes not gonna like force any of that stuff upon her and isnt in the relationship for ONLY those things and those things will come as time develops and when she is ready

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My Website www.harvestmoonparadise.com
Another good site www.avatarcheck.com

From this side of the fence, it seems like she's playing around with him. Telling him she wants him in ways she would want a boyfriend, and then telling him she doesn't want a boyfriend. I think he needs to be clear about this to her. Tell her how he feels. This has got to be a two-way situation. How does he want her? Aparently, as a girlfriend. But if she doesn't want him as a boyfriend, then the pieces don't match, and I guess they'll just have to move on.

I don't know why, but for some reason she seems to be playing around with him. Holding him in place as she tries to figure out what she wants. However, the world doesn't work that way. The world doesn't stop for her to figure out what she wants, and that's what she needs to understand. Robert wants her NOW. Like she said, it could change. If she doesn't want him now, then so be it. She can go play around with someone else, elsewhere.

I don't know what is up with the whole flip phone thing. I really don't. Maybe she's having issues or something that she needs to deal with. I dunno. It seems to me that she was "trying to back out of a situation she doesn't want to be in". So, from that, it seems clear that she doesn't want Robert in the way that he wants her.

I think he should have one last talk with her. Tell her how he feels, and see how she feels. Straight out. No half-assed flip-phone excuses. They need to see eye-to-eye this once, so they can know for sure what future lies ahead of them. If there is one.

I guess that's all I have to say, really.

If there is anything I can do, feel free to message me.
Goodluck with everything.
All the best.

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Come to the Darkside. We have cookies.
DATS NOT HER IN DA PIC.
Don't click me!

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Something else she keeps saying to him is relationships arent for her but if the right guy comes along one day shell marry him isn't that hinting to him that HE ISN'T the right guy.

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