I usually never come on here asking for relationship advice but I just...I really don't know anymore. I don't know what to think or how to act. I don't even really know why I'm posting this...I'll most likely get a ton of unwanted and retarded replies. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest or something.

Well I went to the boyfriends house tonight. He's been bugging me lately about sounding too self conscious and stuff lately, blah blah. We end up getting in a stupid fight that just escalates into something it shouldn't be. At first he says he wants to break up with me, I react calling him insane, etc blah blah.

He then proceeds to drive me home, he starts hysterical crying while driving and we pull over. He says that he loves me so much and he loves hanging out with me and all that crap. He just says that he thinks he is unhappy because recently he isn't sexually attracted to me anymore. This really took me by surprise.

Then he goes onto explaining all this crap, things I never thought he would say. He wanted to be open and honest. He says that he thinks I should go to the gym, loose a few pounds. He also thinks I should change my hair color, and cut it differently. He wants me to change the way I dress, he wants me to have the more preppier look.

I was completely taken by surprise. I obviously sat there crying. He was explaining that he loves me for my personality and that is why he wants to stay with me. He said I should believe him, that he loves me because he is staying with me even though he is not sexually attracted to me. He just thinks that if I change all this stuff about me he's going to be sexually attracted to me again, like he used to.

You all probably think I'm fat and ugly but he seriously sat there for 2 hours telling me I wasn't. He just thinks I have a lot bigger potential then what I put out.

I know deep down that he is a superficial bastard, but I just love him so much. This isn't like puppy love...it's pretty serious. He's almost 20, I'm 18, we're going to live together...all that stuff. Everything is telling me to break up with him but I can't because I love him and I really believe that he loves me but just has this, I don't know, image in his head that I am just not.

Some of you, if you even bother to read this whole thing, will probably tell me to end it but I just can't see that as an option. He says that if I don't change, it's no big deal. He says that he will just most likely not be sexually attracted to me as much anymore. He told me that he has no problem seeing me every waking moment of the day. It's just me,  I'm the one that will complain about not enough sex. Urgh, I just don't even know anymore...sorry this was so long.

You could stick with him, maybe do some of the things on his list, and it might make him more sexually attracted to you. Don't change everything about yourself if you don't want to.

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Your boyfriend is not sexually attracted to you anymore because you don't look a certain way, that is specifically appealing to him. Well there you've got to make a choice. Do you want to try and fit into his idea of sexual attraction. (Which doing so would be for you and him, concering the sexual side of the relationship.) Or do you want to keep being the self you are now, knowing that this is who you are.

Some things I would say is, if his sexual attraction can change like that, who is to say it isn't going to change into something else later on? Do you really want to continue to change just to keep the sex as good as it is?

Logically, it seems odd that he is in love with you, yet wants you to change. If this continues on... who knows what other kind of "problems" that will develop that he will want you to change for him.

If you really want to go through a route of changing for him. I suggest that you make it a two way street, that way you can suggest to him that he needs to change in certain things that would make you happier and more fulfilled in whatever way with the relationship. Both of you should commit to trying your hardest regardless of whether it actually happens or not. I think  doing it this way would stem off any kind of potential resentment that could be caused by him asking you to change as it becomes a mutual agreement for self-improvement in the relationship to benefit each other, and not just the other person.

I'm saying this because a relationship can always use some improvement in some way or another, and you two seem to be in a fairly good communicating honest relationship.
I really hope it works out for you.
Good luck.

Post edited at 10:23 pm on Dec. 29, 2006 by Rastafarian

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"Who are you?" Sophie asked.
She received no response to this either, but felt a momentary
confusion as to whether it was she or her reflection who asked
the question.

Still, it's up to you. I'm here if you ever need a helping hand or a slap in the face. :) note me if you want to.

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It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Extra thanks to Rastafarian. I'll take what everyone said into consideration.

If anyone else wants to add something that would be awesome.