I'll go first:

"Hey Mr. Postman, where's the mail for my mail box?
I wanna SEX on the beach, and I don't mean on the rocks
It's your serve baby but the ball's in my court,
I've got a landing strip clear for you at the airport"

---

"Taste. I have no taste.  
I don't like these tiny portions  
with your artful abortions of sound,  
sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.  
So go choke on your irony."

---

I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yygjwDAijVE

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 10:58 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

"Taste. I have no taste.  
 I don't like these tiny portions  
 with your artful abortions of sound,  
 sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.  
 So go choke on your irony."  
 

---

I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

---

Hmm. Well, if I do recall, your lyrics sounded like something that came out of my ass.

-------
The hardest thing in the world to do
is to find somebody who believes in you.

But you,
My brother in arms,
I'd rather I'd lose my limbs
Than let you come to harm.

But you ,
My bombazine doll,
The bullets may singe your skin
And the mortars may fall.

But I,
I never felt so much life
Than tonight
Huddled in the trenches,
Gazing on the battle field,
Our rifles blaze away;
We blaze away.

Corporal Bradley of regiment five
In proud array standing by the bathing
Soldiers and the stevedores.
We laid on the mattress and tumbled to sleep
Our eyes aligned, swaddled in our civies
Cradled in our dungarees.

But you,
My brother in arms,
I'd rather I'd lose my limbs
Than let you come to harm.

But you,
My bombazine doll,
The bullets may singe your skin
And the mortars may fall.

But I,
I never felt so much life
Than tonight
Huddled in the trenches,
Gazing on the battle field
Our rifles blaze away;
We blaze away.
We blaze away.
We blaze away.


-------
"You've changed." "No, I haven't." "Then why do you look so?"

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:02 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 10:58 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

"Taste. I have no taste.    
  I don't like these tiny portions    
  with your artful abortions of sound,    
  sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.    
  So go choke on your irony."    
 

---

 

 I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

---

 

Hmm. Well, if I do recall, your lyrics sounded like something that came out of my ass.

---

My lyrics sound like my cock?

Post edited at 3:33 pm on Jan. 11, 2007 by TheKaufer

Hi, John, it's Guy from Groanophone
Heard some talk about the band and the way you sing
I really think it's great - Can we make a
       Deal with me, call me a friend, we'll be a family
       You're a talented individual
               If you sign here on the dotted line ... that's good
               And my nephew will be your producer

Yo, John, it's Bill from Biddybum
Word is travelling around that you've got some tunes
We will not be outbid -
       Radio is in the bag, we own the chart
       They will not add your song
       Without checking with our promotion staff

Hi, John, it's Shep from Shinola
We should really do a lunch
Quite a tape indeed - my secretary flipped
You're a genius

My name is Johnny Virgil
    (hammer hammer hammer hammer schmooze schmooze schmooze schmooze)
I play this here guitar
    (patronize patronize pass the buck pass the buck)
I play it for myself
    (wheedle wheedle wheedle wheedle sell sell sell sell)

Can we speak candidly?

Got hands that move like clockwork
    (hammer hammer hammer hammer schmooze schmooze schmooze schmooze)
Voice that carries far
    (patronize patronize pass the buck pass the buck)
Got a love for nothing else
    (wheedle wheedle wheedle wheedle sell sell sell sell)

Let's be spontaneous!

Hi Jack, it's Al from A&R
You don't really need the band, they are in the way
We only wanted you anyway so
       Dump the band, you are the face
       You better wise up fast
       This is not a game - we're professionals
               Did I mention that you won't be out this year?
               Cannot be helped - Go take a vacation
                       One more thing that you should know
                       We're all counting on you to be
                       Our new golden boy - Lots of lives and jobs
                       Hang in the balance here

Virgil, it's Pete your president
Calling to congratulate you on your fine choice
You must be very proud, so are we
       I'm sure your music is terrif although I must admit
       I don't listen to much of anything
               Did I mention that I used to have a band?
               I have to run, been great talking to you

Hi, Joe, about publicity
Thought about the photo op with the cripple
No, we need a sharper hook - like a scandal
       Maybe you could rape a nun
       Or better still a priest
       Some androgeny could be interesting

Hi, Jim, it's Val from Video
Who decided on your hair?
Can we cut it off?
We'd like to see a buzz bin rotation

My name is Johnny Virgil
    (weasel weasel weasel weasel lie lie lie lie)
I play this here guitar
    (pacify pacify jack you off jack you off)
...aahh fuck it....
    (shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle yawn yawn yawn)

Are you a priority?

My name is Johnny Virgil
    (weasel weasel weasel weasel lie lie lie lie)
And I'm gonna be a star
    (pacify pacify jack you off jack you off)
This is how it's done
    (shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle yawn yawn yawn)

Do you want a hit of this?

This is from Kevin Gilbert's The Shaming of the True

-------
Deus ex Machina

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 11:25 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:02 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 10:58 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

"Taste. I have no taste.    
  I don't like these tiny portions    
  with your artful abortions of sound,    
  sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.    
  So go choke on your irony."    
 

---

 

 I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

---

 

Hmm. Well, if I do recall, your lyrics sounded like something that came out of my ass.

---

My lyrics sound like my cock?

---

~*~You're quite the cunning linguist~*~

I wouldn't let your cock come within 7 miles of my ass.

-------
The hardest thing in the world to do
is to find somebody who believes in you.

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:33 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 11:25 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:02 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 10:58 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

"Taste. I have no taste.      
   I don't like these tiny portions      
   with your artful abortions of sound,      
   sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.      
   So go choke on your irony."      
   

---

   

  I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

---

   

 Hmm. Well, if I do recall, your lyrics sounded like something that came out of my ass.

---

 

 My lyrics sound like my cock?

---

~*~You're quite the cunning linguist~*~

I wouldn't let your cock come within 7 miles of my ass.

---

I know you're concerned, but I don't mind getting Herpes.

---

Ambling madly all over the town  
...
We blaze away.

---

Good call

-------
Well damn!

*sips tea in anticipation for the next round*

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:33 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 11:25 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from TheKaufer at 6:02 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

Quote: from Letyoushine at 10:58 pm on Jan. 11, 2007

---

"Taste. I have no taste.      
   I don't like these tiny portions      
   with your artful abortions of sound,      
   sealed with a kiss, slathered in the sauce sarcastic.      
   So go choke on your irony."      
   

---

   

  I said intellectually stimulating lyrics you 'tard.

---

   

 Hmm. Well, if I do recall, your lyrics sounded like something that came out of my ass.

---

 

 My lyrics sound like my cock?

---

~*~You're quite the cunning linguist~*~

I wouldn't let your cock come within 7 miles of my ass.

---

Haha, guys, it's lyrics. To each his (or her =/) own.

-------
,. `'

Now I'm lost

last night I heard lepers
flinch like birth defects
it's musk was fecal in origin
as the words dribbled off of its chin

it said I'm lost
I'm lost
now I'm lost

dolls wreck the minced meat of pupils
cast in oblong arms length
the hooks had been picking their scabs
where wolves hide in the company of men

it said
I'm lost
I'm lost
now I'm lost

are you peeking in the red?
perforated at the neck
what of this mongrel architect
a broken arm of soon will set
past present and future tense
clipside of the pinkeye fountain

now I'm lost

it's been said
long time ago
you'll be the first and last to know
you'll never know

-------
Educators destroy your brain,
but you don't know, so why care?