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  LiveWire / College Forums / Emotional Support / Viewing Topic

College Ruined me: eating disorders/ binge drinking...
social life ruined me.
Replies: 9Last Post Jan. 24, 2007 11:41am by TigerV05
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( lovahgirl )


Grasshopper
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Hi.   I am currently a sophomore in college.  My freshman year of college seems like a blurr to me.  In about october, one of my new friends at college, introduced me to the world of bulimia.  At first I lost so much weight, but then i learned about binging.   It basically ruined my freshman year.  Along with my eating disorder, I started to binge drink.   At my school, blacking out seems sociall acceptable.  I definately formed self esteem issues and because my eating disorder got so out of control, i basically lost my friends...

I came home for the summer and got help and no longer am bulimia.  I went back to college, and I no longer felt so self conscious and actually became friends with my friends again.  I started to pledge a sorority.  My drinking was still out of control.  The only thing to do at my school when your not doing work is drink drink drink.  I actually had to go to the hospital one night... and since the school knew about my eating disorder, asking me to take somet ime off from school.  we're on trimester schedule so i am welcome back in the spring.

Ive been home for a long time now and i can't figure out what to do.  I don't know if i should go back to my college, because in reality i've become the worst person i've ever been.  I feel a certain need to be pretty and social at my school.  My friends, who i have the best of times have also made me feel the worst ive ever felt in my entire life.  Drinking has ruined my life, and ive realized that.  But i can't decide if going back it the spring would be the right thing to do?  I Know i've had great times here, i love the boys and some of the people and i love the greek system.  I just can't figure out what is good for me...

anyone have any ideas?


11:00 pm on Dec. 21, 2006 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 3
Join to learn more about lovahgirl United States | Posts: 1 | Points: 31
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OverTheAir


jebi se

Patron
Support Leader
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Well has the bulimia stopped or not? I think you should see a professional for some help with your addictions. Make your decision to go back to school or not when you see how much progress you have made/what your doctor tells you.

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"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left"
-Marilyn Monroe

11:12 pm on Dec. 21, 2006 | Joined: Jan. 2004 | Days Active: 930
Join to learn more about OverTheAir Massachusetts, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 31,512 | Points: 46,288
tumbleweedfugue

Dairy Product Addict
Reply
Honestly, unless you're terribly attatched to your college and their academics, I'd leave it and find another one.  Just you saying "I feel a certain need to be pretty and social at my school." and "Blacking out seems socially acceptable." confirms it.  It's the exact same with your statement about your friends, how you've had the best of times but they've made you feel the worst you've ever felt in your life.  

You also need to stop drinking, and you're already aware of that, which is good.  

But the reality is that all of this is taking away from your academics, and your health, and it's having quite a detrimental effect.  I think starting fresh in a new place would help.  

By the way, I commend you for getting help and not falling back into bulimia.  You've got one thing beat, so now you can tackle the others.  Life is a process, and a series of events to be overcome.  With each one, you learn more about yourself, and gain strength.  Because of this--there truly are no mistakes.  

Keep your chin up, and keep going.  In time, everything will be okay.  Have a happy holidays, and feel free to get ahold of me via pm, I'm always willing to talk.

Best of luck :D

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"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."---Frederick Douglass


11:13 pm on Dec. 21, 2006 | Joined: Sep. 2004 | Days Active: 295
Join to learn more about tumbleweedfugue Maryland, United States | Female | Posts: 546 | Points: 3,513
Elephant32


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
College pressures do funny things to people.  Before college I was totally pure; fresh snow pure.  No drinking, smoking, drugs...nothing.  I was a student athlete good buy type.  I've been warped a bit by my university--drink occasionally, smoke pot occasionally, and use chewing tobacco just about every day.  Granted the things I've done/am doing aren't even in the same stratosphere as what you've done and seen, but I can understand where you're coming from.  First things first--get yourself right.  Forget about school and your social life--if your "friends" were such good people they wouldn't have let you slip let alone encouraged the things you've done.  Take some time for yourself--if you need a semester off--take that time.  Good luck--every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.  (I stole that line from a movie but it always gives me hope)  Good luck:)

7:39 pm on Dec. 23, 2006 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 208
Join to learn more about Elephant32 Kansas, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 528 | Points: 2,639
ManicD


Swami

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Support Leader
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If you dont feel you can control it dont go back, mabye a good idea is to somehow restrict your income so you cant afford to drink so much, my friends live off £30 a week after rent and bills, thats for food, drink, going outs. Most dont drink excessivly, because they cant afford it, so mabye thats the way to go

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---Suggestions wanted to fill this gap, PM me---

8:21 am on Dec. 27, 2006 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 883
Join to learn more about ManicD England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Male | Posts: 6,998 | Points: 26,284
MsCaesi


Professional
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I think the best thing for you to do if you really want to go back to school and be successful without all the binge drama, why dont you switch schools? You can transfer credits to another school and from there you can start fresh and avoid all the things that brought you down before.

11:04 am on Jan. 10, 2007 | Joined: Jan. 2007 | Days Active: 86
Join to learn more about MsCaesi South Carolina, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,187 | Points: 2,210
TigerV05


Dairy Product Addict

Patron
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College is a gateway to a more successful future. Job opportunities, etc. Go back though, only if you feel you will be healthy.

11:41 am on Jan. 24, 2007 | Joined: April 2006 | Days Active: 179
Join to learn more about TigerV05 Utah, United States | Posts: 1,584 | Points: 5,350
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