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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

My boyfriend likes me more than I like him
Replies: 7Last Post Mar. 26, 2007 9:46pm by AndWhenHeFalleth
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( MoldyOrange )


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Over the last few weeks I  have realized that I don't actually like my boyfriend. Everything that comes out of his mouth (which isn't much to begin with) is either outright flattery, some non-intelligent stereotype, or some random comment that isn't really funny. I just want to smack him upside the head everytime he opens his mouth.

At the same time, I feel bad because I thought I really did like him so I made him go get an STD test (the blood one..) even though he is terrified of needles. We haven't even gotten the results back yet and I don't want to break his heart by turning him down.. but he's driving me off the walls!

He wants to spend every waking minute of his time with me and it is driving me nuts. I need some alone time, you know?

Plus, he seems to be headed nowhere. He has no real goals, and I think that he is super uncomfortable in his skin. I feel like he is a super nice guy but... for some other girl. I have no idea how to go about telling him this when I basically promised him that he could spend a few nights at my house over spring break and that he and I are going to prom together. (but obviously we won't if we break up.)

So, in conclusion, I have no idea what to do. Keep him around? See if he changes? He is really nice some of the time... or break his heart by dumping him flat out.  

Post edited at 9:28 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 by MoldyOrange

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I once worked at a blanket factory but it folded.


9:27 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Feb. 2006 | 184 Days Active
Join to learn more about MoldyOrange Washington, United States | Bisexual Female | 974 Posts | 3829 Points
freshness


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ouch...

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Remember, faithful Jesus, that I am the cause of your journey;
Do not let me be lost that day.

9:28 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Nov. 2006 | 164 Days Active
Join to learn more about freshness Maryland, United States | Straight Male | 2714 Posts | 4611 Points
StopDropandDestroy


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don't string him on like that. Just make a clean break.

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When the Power of Love is Greater
than the Love of Power, We will know peace.

9:29 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Mar. 2007 | 42 Days Active
Join to learn more about StopDropandDestroy Manitoba, Canada | Straight Male | 322 Posts | 636 Points
UkraineGirl11

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The longer you'll wait the more it will hurt. If he's such a nice guy than he'll understand that you are not feeling the same way and would would like to see him happy with a girl that suits him better.

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Visval11 is my bff!!!!

9:36 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Feb. 2007 | 81 Days Active
Join to learn more about UkraineGirl11 Washington, United States | Asexual Female | 610 Posts | 1413 Points
swimsis17

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i was in the same bind last summer. we were together for like five months, two of which were pretty lame cuz i realized i didn't like him like that.
i told him flat out i didn't want to go out with him cuz i didn't think we were compatible in that way.
about a week or so was kind of awkward, but now we're pretty great friends.

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"The proper function of man is to live, not exist. I shall not waste my
days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." Jack London

9:37 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Mar. 2007 | 86 Days Active
Join to learn more about swimsis17 California, United States | Female | 819 Posts | 1775 Points
Rastafarian


Yummu

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Have you voiced what you think of him, and how he acts?
Although it may seem like a bad thing right now, perhaps you can make him realize that what he is doing is in fact, pushing you farther away, something he doesn't want.

Tell him, that you need time alone, for personal space and non-stress relaxing enviournment.

Then you need to re-evaluate your situation.
Will he "change," and if so are you going to be happy with it? Or, if you feel that after telling him your feelings on the whole issue he is not capable of accepting them and dealing with them in order to try and make the relationship flourish, then shall you leave him?

Basically, in the end I think rather then just staying with him, or just breaking it off clean, there is another option. That is tell him what you told us see what comes of it, and then making a decision. Relationship maturity comes from trying to make things work out, but not being afraid to pull out if you've tried things and your partner can't handle it.

I don't think you necessarily don't like your boyfriend, you just don't like how ... enamored he has become with you, and would like him to show some more independance. That is purely my opinion however.

Best of luck!

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Danse Macabre.


9:41 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Sep. 2005 | 697 Days Active
Join to learn more about Rastafarian California, United States | 19033 Posts | 28236 Points
( MoldyOrange )


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Quote: from Rastafarian at 9:41 pm on Mar. 26, 2007

Have you voiced what you think of him, and how he acts?
Although it may seem like a bad thing right now, perhaps you can make him realize that what he is doing is in fact, pushing you farther away, something he doesn't want.

Tell him, that you need time alone, for personal space and non-stress relaxing enviournment.

Then you need to re-evaluate your situation.
Will he "change," and if so are you going to be happy with it? Or, if you feel that after telling him your feelings on the whole issue he is not capable of accepting them and dealing with them in order to try and make the relationship flourish, then shall you leave him?

Basically, in the end I think rather then just staying with him, or just breaking it off clean, there is another option. That is tell him what you told us see what comes of it, and then making a decision. Relationship maturity comes from trying to make things work out, but not being afraid to pull out if you've tried things and your partner can't handle it.

I don't think you necessarily don't like your boyfriend, you just don't like how ... enamored he has become with you, and would like him to show some more independance. That is purely my opinion however.

Best of luck!


Thanks, that is really helpful.

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I once worked at a blanket factory but it folded.


9:43 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Feb. 2006 | 184 Days Active
Join to learn more about MoldyOrange Washington, United States | Bisexual Female | 974 Posts | 3829 Points
AndWhenHeFalleth


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You just described who my fiance was when we first met.

I ended up explaining to him that I did care about him, that I loved him as a friend, but I just didn't have romantic feelings for him.  He took it hard at first, but he got over it in a few days, and he turned into my best friend.

I gave him dating advice, cleaned him up, helped him study, etc.  He gave me a shoulder to lean on, and was the most supportive friend you could ever ask for.  When he started hearing blatantly honest criticism about himself, he started seeing his problems and fixing them.  He turned out to be a fantastic guy.  He really got his life together.  He'll have his AS degree in December, and is then going on for a BS.  He's holding down a full-time job, and working at getting into management.

We ended up getting back together, needless to say.

Anyways, this guy might turn out to be something really special.  He might not.  If he's anything like my fiance (and he sure sounds like it), he's going to need a reality check before he sees a problem.  Be honest with him, but be nice.  Make sure he understands that you don't think he's worthless - it just isn't a good fit and he deserves to be with someone who is as in love with him as he is with her.

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I am not procrastinating.  I am multislacking.


9:46 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 | Joined Feb. 2004 | 752 Days Active
Join to learn more about AndWhenHeFalleth Florida, United States | Label Free Female | 8593 Posts | 20984 Points
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