Then he left last winter because he wasn't doing well in class and he felt he didn't belong here. I cried over this for days and he promised me he would keep in touch with me, be it via phone or internet. He kept his promise for a little while, calling me twice and talking to me via AIM. Then he talked to me less and less, and I stopped seeing him on the internet. I wasn't really upset with him, but I was worried that something had happened. I sent him a few messages through MySpace just asking how he was doing, and he never replied to any of them.

It really hurt me knowing he can't take a minute to say 'hello' to me or tell me he's okay. You'd think him giving me this kind of attitude would make me want to forget him, but no. I've gotten over him for the most part, but there's still a little part of me that misses him. I wish I could forget him entirely, but I don't think that will ever happen because of how big of an impact he had on my life...and my heart. At times, I wish I had never met him so I wouldn't feel like this.

I don't know if I'm necessarily looking for advice...I guess I just needed to vent. The reason I'm venting is because of an intimate dream I had recently involving Shane.

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I value the lives of slugs over the lives of children - and I pour salt on slugs.

He used to get on AIM rarely, and I'd talk to him there. But now I don't see him anymore; I assume he either doesn't get on at all or he changed his username so he won't have to talk to me. Part of me wants to talk to him again, but I don't want to come off as being desperate or acting like a stalker. I'm not obsessed with this guy, but at the very very least, I would just like to know what his reasons are for not talking to me. Even a "Don't ever talk to me again because I hate you" would suffice for me.

I'm kind of tempted to contact him again by another means. I tried to call him a few months back when I was home, but he didn't answer his phone. I also noticed his answering message was no longer his voice, so I'm wondering if he changed his number or lost his phone altogether. I know I sound obsessive, but I guess I just really want to know why we went sour. If the distance between us makes me not worth talking to, I want to hear it from him. Maybe I'm just nuts, but I simply want to know why someone who was originally a wonderful friend has shut me completely out of their life.

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I value the lives of slugs over the lives of children - and I pour salt on slugs.

Perhaps he is trying to forget me because we both know our chances of seeing one another again are pretty nil. He lives about five hours away, but neither of us has the money to go and see the other. One day maybe I'll see him again, but I'm not holding my breath waiting.

Hell, for all I know he went back to college elsewhere.

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I value the lives of slugs over the lives of children - and I pour salt on slugs.