I think if you know in your heart of hearts that this is what you want then what is holding you back? I know you have some issues with your father there but I honestly don't think the point he's making is that big a deal. Sure you want to be stable when you get married and all that but it's not as important when you're engaged. Getting engaged is just telling people "we're going to get married at some point in the future", so why can you not just work towards getting more financially stable during your engagement and promise your father that you won't get married until you are at a point where you can live independently, comfortably within your means and support each other. It doesn't really matter if you spend your engagement time doing that, does it?

If you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy then I say go for it. Do what makes you happy and perhaps you can come to a compromise with your father that will make him happy too. I'm a firm believer that love conquers all and think your love will too. You sound like you're switched on and I think you'll do just fine.

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Week in and week out,
Your lucky charms will always let you down,
Maybe next week we'll see,
Maybe

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I think the fact that you guys have been on and off in the past is influencing your decision to want to get engaged isn't it? Because you mentioned that when you got back together that you weren't really 'exclusive' as such and I think this engagement means more to you than you think in terms of him showing his commitment to you after all this time.  

I think if you know in your heart of hearts that this is what you want then what is holding you back? I know you have some issues with your father there but I honestly don't think the point he's making is that big a deal. Sure you want to be stable when you get married and all that but it's not as important when you're engaged. Getting engaged is just telling people "we're going to get married at some point in the future", so why can you not just work towards getting more financially stable during your engagement and promise your father that you won't get married until you are at a point where you can live independently, comfortably within your means and support each other. It doesn't really matter if you spend your engagement time doing that, does it?

If you know you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy then I say go for it. Do what makes you happy and perhaps you can come to a compromise with your father that will make him happy too. I'm a firm believer that love conquers all and think your love will too. You sound like you're switched on and I think you'll do just fine.

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You are right actually the fact that he is showing his commitment to me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me means everything and now that hes put this ring on my finger and has been telling me everyday that he wants to marry me...i cant even put into words how happy i am.  Well I'm hoping that my dad will agree with us and support us...it means a lot to me that my dad be happy about this to, my mom died when i was 15 so his support kind of counts for both of them to me now i guess if that makes sense.  He and I have decided that were going to wait to tell my family and his family until I have a job we are engaged now and i guess now im just scared my dad will find out i kept it from him idk.....this isnt suppose to be stressful you know? I'm happier then I've been in years and i just want everyone involved to be as happy as my fiance and I are.

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If you have to hide the fact that you are engaged, was it really the right time to be engaged?

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its not so much hiding it i guess its more that i want to tell my dad at the best possible time, so that he will be as happy as possible.  he told my fiance that he has his blessing but he doesn't think he should do it now.  my dad sees me as his little girl he will never really think its a good idea, when i told him that devin and i were back together he flat out in all seriousness said "don't bother dating anyone no one will ever be good enough to marry you in my eyes anyway so there isn't really a point." i laughed when he said but he just shook his head and said its true.  i just want to have a job when i tell him so he wont worry as much about me.  he thinks i have an extremely dependent personality and he just doesn't want me to go from under his care to devins care hes worried I cant ever take care of myself