I'm a pretty tough lass. I don't get caught up over boys. I don't cry over boys. I never usually give them second thought.
This guy I was dating was literally the only guy I've been with who's ever meant anything to me. He was completely perfect. But we only ever really saw each other in work (we work together) so it didn't really work out, we never went on any dates or anything like that... We never clicked. I knew he was going to dump me, and he did. The day before yesterday.
Even when he was dumping me, he was so kind. He said he still really wants to be friends.
About an hour after he dumped me I went on a night out to drown my sorrows with absinthe, ugh, ended up going home with some very attractive French guy who I had absolutely no romantic interest in whatsoever. I just felt the need to rebound and now I regret it so much. I woke up next to him, saw him, initially assumed it was my ex-boyfriend, having forgotten that we'd broken up... When I realised it wasn't him, and remembered what happened, I felt my heart shatter into a billion pieces.
I experienced heartbreak. I never thought I would. And the pain hasn't stopped.
The problem is, I find it really hard to get over boys. I've only ever liked two other guys, and it took me 3 years to get over one of them, and 7 years to get over the other. It's emotional torture, no matter what I do I just can't get over a boy until I meet a new one who I fall for, but it can take years until I find another guy who I like.
And another problem:
For my ex-boyfriends birthday I bought him tickets to a music festival so he could come with me and my friends. When we broke up he said he'd still come with me and I was so happy, I thought maybe at the festival he'd get to know me better, see what I'm like out of work and he'd consider giving me a second chance. But after discovering how much I spent on the tickets, he's given me them back and he's saying he feels like a dick for taking that much money off me. I want him to come so bad, the fact I got my hopes up for him to come to the festival only to have them crushed, is absolute agony.
I just want to get over him. I've never felt pain like this, all over a stupid boy.