Hey there! You are not worthless! You're a great person of value and have great potential. I know life sucks sometimes, but we all go through hard times. Life may not be the best at the moment, but it will get better. Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. I know that you're probably in so much pain. Not ending your life doesn't make you a wimp, but it's makes you a strong person. Your life is precious and you're just going through a storm, but after a storm comes a rainbow.
Some people who end their lives or attempt suicide might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. Others might feel angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. We all feel overwhelmed by problems of life. You said you are struggling with school and that you're fighting for a decent grade. Is there any tutoring programs that the school may offer? I would check with an official and have them to look into it. Even if you don't feel confident in what you're majoring in you can always talk to an administrative official about changing that.
Often we always look to our family for support, but sometimes families do fight. That's not out of the ordinary. When they fight try to get out of the house. Go for a walk or jog. It should take your mind off of things. I'm sure your friends do care about you and they are probably busy and I'm sure they could find time to hang out. Always find common interest in hobbies and activities. It should help with finding things to do with each other. I know it's hard to be in a long distance relationship and it takes a lot of work. Maybe in this situation you and your boyfriend can find comfort in each other? It's great to support each other.
Anxiety sucks and I know how you feel. I've struggled with it also. The feeling is the most awful feeling of all. It's best to see a therapist because the doctor isn't really trained to deal with psychological issues. It's also great to socialize even as hard as it is. That doesn't mean to trust just anybody, but surround yourself with people who are very trustworthy.
I wish for the best and hope for a quick recovery! Feel free to message me!
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