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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Alcohol & Substance Support / Viewing Topic

I'm scared I'm becoming an alcoholic
Replies: 4Last Post Feb. 15 11:17am by jagged
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( Anonymous )

It's an addiction. I like it so much, I can't stop. I'm afraid.

When I'm intoxicated, I just feel so... good. I feel happy. I feel energetic. I feel carefree. I feel outgoing. I like I could fly. The exact opposite of my sober self. I feel like I am free from the shackles of my autism and depression. I feel like I can be myself, my real self, the "me" that I really want to be... such as it is.

Yet... I am afraid. Afraid I will hurt my mother, hurt my boyfriend, hurt everyone in my circle of close friends - I know they would never approve, for certain.

I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be dependent on this stuff. But... nothing else frees me from my pain. Not even doctor prescribed antidepressants and anti anxiety drugs. I am lost.

What do I do?

Post edited at 4:54 pm on Nov. 19, 2016 by Anonymous

4:53 pm on Nov. 19, 2016
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Ask your doctor to see a therapist and they can tell you ways to stop.

Rowyn //.^

1:51 pm on Nov. 20, 2016 | Joined: Nov. 2016 | Days Active: 15
Join to learn more about RowynFaenyx Tennessee, United States | Pansexual Male | Posts: 23 | Points: 176


How much have you been drinking and for how long has it been going on?  I'm the resident expert when it comes to alcoholism and regrets of actions performed while drunk.

Different people would give you definitions of what an alcoholic is and is not; it's not entirely objective.  But if you're drinking a twelve-pack of beer in the day and half a liter of vodka (mixed with benzodiazepines) and are not blacking out, you have a problem (the simple fact that you CAN handle that much shows that you've developed a tolerance.

If you feel physically uncomfortable while sober, and I'm talking hands trembling, twitching and convulsions, changes in balance, intense cravings, and the worst flu you've ever had.  Have you ever had a seizure as a result of being deprived of alcohol?

If you answered yes to that last question, then I'd say you're heading down a dark road.  Don't quit all at once, though, if you feel the dopesickness (withdrawals), you're literally risking your life.  Do a hospitalized detox for a few days until you've stabilized because people have died from withdrawal seizures.  If you need a crutch, try marijuana and see how it affects you - it's not nearly as bad for you as alcohol.

Otherwise, if you still believe you have a problem, don't check into rehab because real life is not "Intervention" and "A Million Little Pieces" failed to DESCRIBE the rehab center clearly enough for someone who's not been there to understand that it's not a spa or a resort hotel.

Read recovery books.  Give the 12 Steps of AA a shot (I did) and if that isn't for you there are also Moderation Management and SMART Recovery which are more about using alcohol or drugs or whatever in moderation.  You'll learn to control yourself from any of these things.  Go to meetings.  Be forward.  Talk a lot about your problems, AA usually will at least try to help you.  Get phone numbers from people at the meetings, and try to hit several meetings in one week to get to know sober people and gain a support network.  And get a sponsor early on that you can call on if you ever need to be talked out of drinking.

I don't think you're an alcoholic.  But with the way you're going, you could very well be in just a couple of years.  You're sinking, but you haven't sunk so get some preventative help!

The prettiest little liar there ever could be.
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- A

10:06 pm on Nov. 27, 2016 | Joined: Oct. 2003 | Days Active: 792
Join to learn more about MorningStar New Mexico, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 18,996 | Points: 13,539

Dairy Product Addict
Coming from a real alcoholic I can say that drinking solves nothing. you need to talk to a professional and really hold nothing back, tell them everything you can. some doctors don't get how to treat people because they don't get the whole picture. drinking is nice sometimes, it seems like a quick easy fix, but it doesn't really help in the end. I used to spend everyday drunk. and I'm not exaggerating. I would wake up and head to school and drink one the way. I spent high school drunk every day. I don't remember high school. I still drink but only because I spent a long time sober, coming to terms with my illness. alcohol doesn't fix anything. go to your doctors and hold nothing back, let them know everything, even the positive effects you feel from drinking. if they're a good doctor then they should be able to help. if they can't help then they're not so good and you need a new doctor. I went through half a dozen therapists before I found a good one

Don't impeach, teach. or maybe both. cuz damn.

12:04 am on Jan. 23, 2017 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 69
Join to learn more about untainted Pennsylvania, United States | Male | Posts: 1,109 | Points: 1,846

Quality Control Engineer
have you tried not drinking, sounds like crazy man talk i know but try it

11:17 am on Feb. 15, 2017 | Joined: Mar. 2016 | Days Active: 67
Join to learn more about jagged | Posts: 158 | Points: 828
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