Some reasons why I think I don't feel anything:
-I'm used to being on my own
-My SO has crazy friends that do very stupid things that end up hurting my SO either physically or emotionally.
-This is the first time I have ever been with someone not as a friend.
-Since meeting, it has been problem after problem happening to either my SO or my SO's friends that I have to help clean up/give emotional support. I wouldn't mind doing it every now and again but it's all of the time.  
Example:
Say we have been together a week, within that 7 days, there will have been an incident atleast 6 times.

Please help!

Post edited at 1:03 am on June 24, 2012 by Anonymous

It can be hard to find a "right time" (but really, is there ever a "right time" to break up with someone?), but I think it's important to do this both for yourself and for your partner.

Just sit down with them (or get them on the phone if you need to, that's acceptable as well) and tell them that you think it would be best for both of you to not continue the relationship. If you want, you can explain your reasons (or if they ask), but I try to keep things vague or basic. There's no reason to get nasty about it and try to insult the other person (for example, you probably don't want to say "I think you're a rude and immature person and I hate being around you!", but you might want to think about saying something like "I don't feel like we're a good match because we both have different expectations of what we want from our partner.").

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One World. One Passion. OneSight.

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then tell em its not working out and your breakin up with em, plain and simple..its people who act like kids that make things difficult..all it is is hey SO..i dont have feelings for you so we are done..can we still b friends? its not a hard thing that teens need to understand

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I'm not a kid and I don't want to be rude about it. Every time I try to phrase my sentences it comes out as harsh and cold.

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Quote: from jjlipinsjyahoocom at 1:03 am on June 24, 2012

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then tell em its not working out and  your breakin up with em, plain and simple..its people who act like kids that make things difficult..all it is is hey SO..i dont have feelings for you so we are done..can we still b friends? its not a hard thing that teens need to understand

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I'm not a kid and I don't want to be rude about it. Every time I try to phrase my sentences it comes out as harsh and cold.

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In my experience, it's best just to be straight forward. If you're not into the relationship then you're not into the relationship, and that's ok. You don't have to justify not wanting to be in a relationship with someone.  

It can be hard to find a "right time" (but really, is there ever a "right time" to break up with someone?), but I think it's important to do this both for yourself and for your partner.  

Just sit down with them (or get them on the phone if you need to, that's acceptable as well) and tell them that you think it would be best for both of you to not continue the relationship. If you want, you can explain your reasons (or if they ask), but I try to keep things vague or basic. There's no reason to get nasty about it and try to insult the other person (for example, you probably don't want to say "I think you're a rude and immature person and I hate being around you!", but you might want to think about saying something like "I don't feel like we're a good match because we both have different expectations of what we want from our partner.").

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That is true, I guess there isn't a right time but I'm also worried because I have no idea how my SO will react.

I know you were just using an example. My SO is really sweet and considerate but I think the major factor of me not feeling anything for them is their friends. The things they do, maybe I am keeping myself from feeling anything without me knowing it. I just can't see myself being with my SO because I know I will have to include their friends if things get really serious. I'm not the kind of person to have someone give up their friends because their SO doesn't want to be around them, I think that is wrong. I like the friends just not the things they do and I know some if not all of them will not change.

Post edited at 1:15 am on June 24, 2012 by Anonymous

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Personally, I think it's totally reasonable to not want to date someone because they have crappy friends. I agree that when you start dating someone you, in a way, date their friends as well. At this point in his life, this guy just isn't right for you, for any reason. And that's ok. It doesn't make him a bad person and it doesn't make you a bad person.

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So would it be okay then if when they asked, I said it is because of the friends?

I'd keep the reasons focused on you, if possible. That tends to make it appear less like you're blaming or putting fault on your partner (e.g. Instead of saying something like "you never treat me right" try "I feel like at times I am left wanting _____."). Using phrases like "I feel like, at times" is a good way to start things. It's less accusatory and keeps thinks in discussion, rather than pointing fingers ("you don't do this or that").

But at the end of the day you two just aren't right for each other. That's generally what I've always left it as myself.

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One World. One Passion. OneSight.

Post edited at 1:45 am on June 24, 2012 by iconoclast

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well, is it?

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Meh. I probably wouldn't. Mainly because you don't want to put them in the position of feeling resentful of their friends. And it's not that his friend's are (likely) bad people, they're just not your taste.

I'd keep the reasons focused on you, if possible. That tends to make it appear less like you're blaming or putting fault on your partner (e.g. Instead of saying something like "you never treat me right" try "I feel like at times I am left wanting _____."). Using phrases like "I feel like, at times" is a good way to start things. It's less accusatory and keeps thinks in discussion, rather than pointing fingers ("you don't do this or that").

But at the end of the day you two just aren't right for each other. That's generally what I've always left it as myself.

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Okay thanks, I'll try to keep it vague and if asked, leave out the part about the friends.

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I'd honestly try to talk to them about the issues. Figure out the level of attachment and feelings they have for you etc before you try anything else. If they're just beyond any kind of reasoning go ahead and do it, or if the level of attachment is high and they're capable of changing (doubtful) try a 'break' first; an actual one not just BS and demand they quit the shit or its over.

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I think my SO is very attached and the problem isn't with the SO really, it is more of the friends. I mean he has some stuff but not as bad as the friends. They are great people when something bad isn't happening. Like if you took away all of the bad decisions they make they would be fine. But another part of it is that it seems like I'm the one that has to be strong and clear headed out of all of them. One of them does something/something happens to them and I have to fix it, even though there is literally nothing I can do.

Post edited at 2:32 am on June 24, 2012 by iconoclast

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well, is it?

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Yeah, if that's the case I say give him a chance to get his shit together. If he's a good person, he shouldn't be hanging around with scumbags. Just cutting it off sounds like it'll cause unnecessary pain and confusion, possibly with you too since this is your first relationship (though it might be delayed).

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Yeah that is true. I guess we'll just have to talk it out and straighten things out.