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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Deep Thoughts & Random Musings / Viewing Topic

Mail slot penis
Replies: 4Last Post Jan. 19, 2012 8:37am by Blaq
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( hearts not broken  )


Swami

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So one of my Mom's coworkers was out delivering mail door to door. She comes up to one house, seeming just like all the rest, but when she approached the door, suddenly a penis came sticking out of the mail slot.

At first she thought it was fake, a rubber or a blow up doll or something, but then she heard some guy moaning like in pleasure or something on the other side and realized it was real.

So then she freaked out and ran way, and told a supervisor about it and they called the police.

Turns out, it was some kid playing a weird ass fucking joke.

Men are such weirdos.  


7:28 am on Jan. 19, 2012 | Joined: Jan. 2009 | Days Active: 1,058
Join to learn more about hearts not broken Germany | Posts: 11,299 | Points: 28,290
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chaosdisown


Something Mediocre

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and all woman belong in the kitchen.

/thread.

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Come with me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.


7:30 am on Jan. 19, 2012 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 1,410
Join to learn more about chaosdisown Michigan, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 15,127 | Points: 42,648
MorningStar


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What possesses people to go around sticking their penises into everything?  I've seen them in pies, I've seen them sitting on the window ledge, once I discovered a secret penis in some shitty dive bar, sticking out of what appeared to be a glory hole.  I saw a man try to stick his penis in a feral animal's mouth.  It did not end well.

American Pie Part VI: American MAIL SLOT

haha penis outta fucking nowhere, the penis is such a funny organ

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It's open season on liars and I'm hunting!
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7:33 am on Jan. 19, 2012 | Joined: Oct. 2003 | Days Active: 708
Join to learn more about MorningStar New Mexico, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 18,893 | Points: 11,754
Oceanborn


Swami

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Quote: from MorningStar at 7:33 am on Jan. 19, 2012

What possesses people to go around sticking their penises into everything? I've seen them in pies, I've seen them sitting on the window ledge, once I discovered a secret penis in some shitty dive bar, sticking out of what appeared to be a glory hole. I saw a man try to stick his penis in a feral animal's mouth. It did not end well.

American Pie Part VI: American MAIL SLOT

haha penis outta fucking nowhere, the penis is such a funny organ


I hope you realize I'm snickering helplessly now...

Oh, I HAS ONE!!!


From the Darwin Awards Honorary Mention:


Mr. Happy's Vacuum  
2000 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin


(13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.
Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.

Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.



   

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"Passion tide, an angel by my side...but no Christ to end this war
to deliver my soul from the sword.
Hope, has shown me a scenery; paradise, poetry...
with first snow I'll be gone..."


7:39 am on Jan. 19, 2012 | Joined: Mar. 2006 | Days Active: 1,249
Join to learn more about Oceanborn California, United States | Pansexual Female | Posts: 8,592 | Points: 27,301
Blaq

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hahahahashaha

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8:37 am on Jan. 19, 2012 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 42
Join to learn more about Blaq Uganda | Straight Male | Posts: 224 | Points: -433
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