Second of all, she's afraid of getting pregnant?  I guess she doesn't know much, but riding on top of you without any kind of protection?  She can still get pregnant from that.  Any time the penis comes ANYwhere close to the vagina, there's a chance of pregnancy.  Sperm travels through liquid, and if she's arroused, then she will provide a perfect path to her egg.

So, while I agree with the fact that she wants to not get pregnant, that's a perfectly good reason not to have sex... I don't agree with the way she's going about it.  And even at 21... are you going to want a child at 23?  You should talk to her about this.  Because if you don't want a child at 23, then you probably won't he having any sex for a while, right?

So, sit down, have a chat.  As her why she does not want to use a condom.  Does she not want to lose her virginity that way?  She can go on the pill, or she get something like an IUD... and even then there are things like spermicides and sponges (not as effective though!!) that she can turn to.

In her case, I would ask her what her real reason behind this is... other than not wanting to use a condom.  Why does she not want to use a condom?  If she's allergic, they make animal skin kinds for people that are allergic to latex.  If it's because of her first time, then there are other alternatives.  Because there are SEVERAL types of birth control.  And even if she wants to wait with another kind of birth control, that's fine... but at least when she gets to 21, she can go on some form of protection, she that she doesn't go and get pregnant right away, you know?

And something else I'd like to mention.  If she isn't aware of the different types of birth control available, she can make a trip to a planned parenthood center and learn about them.  Maybe she'll find something that's good for her.  Because whenever the clothes come off, there's a chance for pregnancy, and I don't think right now she realizes that she has that chance, because you aren't actually going inside of her.  So just talk to her, and see if you can decide on something that works well for both of you :).  It's good to know you aren't pressuring her, maybe she's just not ready and 'not wanting to use a condom' is her excuse.  Whatever her reason, it's fine not to want to have sex, but you should probably decide what you want from your future...  because you may not want to have children at 23.

Post edited at 10:40 am on April 14, 2008 by Just Waiting Here