I've been going back and forth from eating too much to eating nothing. It's not like I WANt to, it's just that that's what my brain is telling me for the moment. I'm incapable of eating regularly.

And when I do eat 3 times a day, it's shit food.

It's like a cycle, I don't eat anything, I get tired of being hungry. I eat too much, I feel guilty. I stop eating and get tired of being hunry...etc.

It's so fucking annoying.
though lately I've been eating okay. I don't eat a lot, but I eat every day. I eat about 1 - 2 meals a day, and I'm satisfied. If I eat mor, I feel like a pig, and I feel extremely guilty later on. Yesterday, I ate twice - but I ate OUT twice because of the poeple I was with. So last night, around 5 or 6 I ate some ribs, fries, baked beans, and garlic bread from Rib City, and I haven't eaten anything sence.

It hasn't been that long, but it's like 2:00pm the next day, and I haven't eaten anything. I feel hungry, kind of. I went in to the kitchen earlier and looked through the pantry and the fridge

OOh - *foot note* one thing that BURNS me up is that we never have any good food in the house. (don't need to read all of this)
We've had a left-over half a sandwich for about a month in the fridge, and noone's thrown it away. And the pantry manages t o be full, without having any FOOD. like, we have cake mix, and brownie mix, and mashed potatoe flakes and all this shit, but we don't have milk or eggs or any other ingredients needed to make these things. NOT to mention it's unhealthy -- so that just pisses me off to the point where I'm like "Fuck this! I don't want any food anymore" and I leave hungry w/o food.

Back to story:
Looked thru the pantry and fridge and there wasn't any food so I walked away. I mean, I feel slightly hungry, but my brain is telling me to EAT --though my stomach is telling me I don't HAVE to eat right now, though it's growled slightly.
And my heart is like --- WTF, don't eat anything you fat whore. So I don't know what to do right now =(
help?

Well, as much as you say you're in a vicious circle and can't get out, it does seem like you've identified the way to fix your own problem: eat the right things at regular times.

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, starving yourself isn't the best way to lose weight. What you really need to do is eat a healthy, balanced diet every day. Easier said than done, though, I know.

The first thing to do is to make sure the right foods are available. You know you were saying about how you went to get some food, but then you couldn't find anything so you didn't bother? Would you have eaten something if there'd been something you wanted? I'm sure you would.

Who normally does the shopping in your house? I'll give you two options: it's you or someone else. Whoever it is, they're obviously not buying the right things.

If it's you, or if you start doing it, then obviously you won't have much of a problem, because you can just decide what to buy and buy it. If it's someone else, though, you might have more of a problem on your hands.

One thing that we do in our house is to put a piece of paper on the front of the fridge as a shopping list. As soon as we run out of something, we write it on the list. If there's something unusual that a person wants, then we write that on the list too. When my mum goes shopping (she does the shopping in our house), she takes the list with her and buys everything that's on it. There are some things that we buy every week anyway, like fruit and veg, but the list means that we don't forget to buy things that maybe we don't buy so often.

It might be worth giving a try. It'll make sure you don't run out of things that are essential to eat, and you'll also have the ingredients you want for things you want to cook.

Another thing that might help you is to schedule your mealtimes and eat at a table. Our family is lucky in that we're able to sit down to dinner together every night, but unfortunately not everyone's life is so convenient. Even so, you can still try to make a bigger thing out of meals. Decide what you're going to cook in advance and write it on the shopping list. Decide on a time when you're generally in the house and make that your mealtime. Then you can begin cooking before that so that you're in plenty of time for when you want to eat.

Even if you don't feel hungry, try to make the effort to eat something small, like cheese on toast or a jacket potato. If you get into the routine of eating at the right times, then things will be a lot better.

This site has some excellent information on healthy diets and you can find some easy recipes here.

I hope that helped you! Do feel free to message me if you want.

-Fern

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You love me because I like daffodils because they are yellow
But I do not like daffodils because they are yellow