As I grew older I wanted to be around people more and more. Problem was, because I neglected social interaction so much as a child, I was lagging behind a bit in social skills. I said stupid things. I probably got on more than a few peoples nerves. To this day I still have no idea how to flirt with girls or read their body language.

Anyway, I thought all of this was just in my head or a part of my personality I'd have to overcome until I read a post on here about social anxiety. I read the symptoms and they matched what I've experienced my whole life- the sweating, the absolute abohorrance of public speaking, difficulty with groups- you name it, and I probably experience it.

Now I feel like there's hope to fix it, my only problem is thinking of how to explain it to my parents. I've read therapy can take 3 months, I'll be going to college in August and I'm afraid I'll be miserable if I don't treat this before I go. My dad seems like the sort who completely would not go for this- he always comments on how negative I am, but I doubt he'd chalk it up to some new-fangled "disease" that require pills that cost money when I can just "stop being negative." I'm afraid they won't realize this is something I can't control and something I'm adament about fixing.

I guess I need advice on how to bring this up to them. I'm just nervous about how the conversation could go (there's another symptom right there..). I really want to get this treated- I have plenty of friends but I'm not really the person I wish I was or the person I know I could be. Any advice?

As for approaching your family about this, well, I can relate and understand your predicament here. One thing I got from what you mentioned about your dad is that he seems to be weary of things he doesn't know - well, in regards to emotional health, that is. My first suggestion would be that you do some research on social anxiety, and maybe write a few things out or print a few things off the internet for him to have a look at. Having something to show him about social anxiety - the emotions a person can feel, the treatment it requires, all of that - might help him understand what it is and how you're feeling. If you show him some print offs or whatever, and explain that you're feeling a lot of what is being described, it might really help him understand a little better, y'know? It might not fully convince him that you suffer from social anxiety, but it might open his mind a little, which is what we're aiming for, right? So, my first suggestion is that you explain and show your parents exactly WHAT social anxiety is, and exactly what you're feeling.

I also think it'd help for you to explain that you don't want to be that negative person that he sees, and that if you could just change it like that then you absolutely would. I've had to explain certain things about my behaviour to my mum in the past, and I always do this by explaining that if I COULD be happier and less negative, I absolutely would be. Point out to your dad that you really, really want to feel better about your anxiety, and you've tried (no doubt) to fix this on your own. Hopefully this will let your parents see how serious you are about receiving help. Let them know that you're worried about going off to college and you completely feel that help and medication will help you before you go, and will make life easier for you when you get there.

If all else fails, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with you asking your parents to just take you along to the doctors just for an evaluation of sorts. Ask if you can go at least once, so you can explain your feelings to your doctor and your doctor can do two things. Firstly, your doctor can let you know how he/she feels you should be treated, and secondly, he/she can explain exactly what social anxiety his and how much you'd benefit from help to your parents. That way, not only will your parents be hearing it from you, but they'll be hearing it straight from your doctor, too. Which, surely, must count for something. If you can't make them see that this isn't something you can control, hopefully your doctor can.

I completely understand why you're nervous about approaching your parents about this. Even a person without social anxiety might feel nervous about having to approach their parents about anything, so throw in some anxiety and I know for sure it might feel really scary and nerve wracking. Just remember how much you want help though, yeah? Think of what your goals are and what you want to achieve by telling your parents. It's going to be hard, absolutely, but once it's done then it'll be over. You won't have to have that first big scary conversation with them again, because the ball will be rolling. Also remember that it will get easier to talk to them once you get started. The first couple of minutes will be the hardest, telling them firstly that you need to speak to them will be the hardest, but after a few minutes of talking, it will get easier. Honestly. I've been there, and I assure you, the first few minutes are the worst and the scariest. It gets easier though, absolutely.

Now, as for how to tell them? Well, I simply suggest that you catch them both at a time when they're not busy, so perhaps one evening, when they're relaxing after the evening meal or about to settle down for bed? Basically, a time in which they'll be relaxed and not worrying about the ten million and one things that parents seem to worry about! Just sit them down, and let them know that there's something on your mind that you'd really like to talk to them about. Then, take it from there. Show them print offs or leaflets if you manage to get any, and take it all from there. And, if worst comes to worst and you simply CAN'T bring yourself to chat with them, you could always write them a letter explaining exactly how you feel and stuff like that. Really though, I reckon that's a completely last option and talking to them would probably see the best results. Keep reminding yourself how much you're going to benefit from telling them, and how much relief you'll feel once it's done. The initial fear and worry will go, yeah?

If all else really does fail and your parents refuse to get you any help at all, then I'm afraid that your options might be limited, but that certainly doesn't mean you'll be beyond help. If this does happen, hopefully your college will have some sort of counselor you can speak to about these issues when you get there? Even talking about it and having the help of a counselor (and their input and advice) really might help tremendously. However, I'm not going to go on about what to do if your parents refuse to get you help, because I honestly think that, if you explain how you're feeling, they should get you the help. And if they don't, well, feel free to come back here and let us know, and I can write out a response to that.

Good luck. Really. I honestly hope this works out for you and I hope you get the help you need to get through this. Let me know how you get on, maybe? And should you ever need anything at all, feel free to PM me absolutely any time.

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it's broken beyond repair. it's in a million little pieces.