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  LiveWire / College Forums / Emotional Support / Viewing Topic

How do you respond when
your girlfriend tells you she had an abortion
Replies: 9 — Last Post April 13, 2008 12:44pm by bluebutterfly4ever
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Web Resources: Rape Myths Dispelled, Help & Information about Rape
USA Rape, Abuse and Incest Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Web Resources: Teen Pregnancy Facts, Abortion Facts
USA Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663
( casesensitive30 )


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
I've been seeing this girl for a few months and she told me she was raped and had an abortion a few years ago.  I know rape is tough to deal with help you can deal with the emotions involved.  Unusually, I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact she had an abortion, even under those unfortunate circumstances.  

I was wondering what kinds of emotions does one feel when they have an abortion and after they have an abortion?  

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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"

12:00 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2002 | Days Active: 762
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | Posts: 1,886 | Points: 9,497
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Pisciculus


Visionary 		Reply
although ive never had one, i have heard depression is really common afterwards.

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"We're like two children on the playground of the unconfessed souls
abandoned by our mothers and our lovers and our foes..."
12:01 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: July 2006 | Days Active: 564
Join to learn more about Pisciculus Missouri, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 2,857 | Points: 9,368
IamMelissa


Connoisseur
Patron 		Reply
probably scared, sad, upset, relieved

I dont know, I have never had one..

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keep talking cause I love to hear your voice

12:02 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 252
Join to learn more about IamMelissa Texas, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 2,405 | Points: 6,574
greatescape


Alive & Amplified
Patron
Support Leader 		Reply
Relief.
12:03 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 646
Join to learn more about greatescape Spain | Female | Posts: 24,012 | Points: 32,493
peekabeekaboo


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
guilt, teribale, evil, nasty, dirty, like you should of been better then that.
but the guilt is really heavy
12:05 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2007 | Days Active: 112
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( casesensitive30 )


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
I'd prefer responses from people who've had one or people who know someone who has had one.

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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"
12:06 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2002 | Days Active: 762
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | Posts: 1,886 | Points: 9,497
BeX2506


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
It's often something you never forget. All pregnancies are an emotional time, and it's a human life being lost. So most people get very emotional and depressed after an abortion. try to be supportive and understanding when she gets upset, and she may be particularly sensitive about sex, but you just have to support her. If she's ok with it then great but she did tell you for a reason.

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Looking up into a neon sky
12:09 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 97
Join to learn more about BeX2506 England, United Kingdom | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 1,180 | Points: 2,117
islandgirl


Wealthy Hobo 		Reply
I work at a sex clinic and see a lot of women who have abortions- some under bad circumstances
Many are really relieved, I'd say that most are. It's such an emotional and physically stressful situation. Some don't want to have sex again for an undetermined amount of time. However of course some people are more emotionally upset about it than others. The only way you will know is if you talk to her about it- but keep in mind that she may NOT want to talk to you about it. Give her time, and be really accepting of what she wants to do and what she doesn't want to do- you may have to earn her trust more than another woman who hasn't gone through that.
12:10 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 198
Join to learn more about islandgirl British Columbia, Canada | Straight Female | Posts: 2,586 | Points: 5,075
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Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
thank you island girl, i read that many girls feel relieved online, but a lot of websites say that girls get like post tramautic stree disorder.

we talked about what would happen if she was to ever get pregnant with my child and she told me she would definietly get an abortion and she would feel more inconvienced than anything.  



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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"

12:18 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2002 | Days Active: 762
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | Posts: 1,886 | Points: 9,497
bluebutterfly4ever


Executive 		Reply
i wouldnt know but ppl make choices n i know for a fact that if i would of been the one who was raped and got pregnant i know that i would of had an abortion...

ppl who get pregnant and had an abortion sometimes say that dey didnt want the child to remind them of that day but i believe that with or with out a baby from the rape u will always be reminded of that day...it can NEVER heal

that what i think

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love is hate

12:44 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2007 | Days Active: 274
Join to learn more about bluebutterfly4ever California, United States | Lesbian Female | Posts: 481 | Points: 3,235
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