I dont know what to do anymore. I have been a cutter for a while but I scared myself so much that I have been trying to stop. It has been almost 6 weeks since I have cut and a month was the longest that I have ever gone. So this is a long time for me. Two nights ago I got the urge to cut again. I recently moved in for summer school with my friend and my bed is up really high. So when I felt the need to cut, I just curled up under my head and cried and shook for maybe an hour. She was finally able to help me through it but all I could think was, "what about next time?" sad to say, next time came last night. I was under my bed again but my roomy was havinga good time next door so I didnt want to bother her. I decided to go for a walk. I think I was out for almost 3 hours? Maybe 2. Thankfully, I was able to get myself through it alone.
I just know how much longer I can fight these feelings. They are killing me!
------- all you need is love
9:21 am on May 16, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 38 Join to learn more about tastetherainbowNew Jersey, United States | LesbianFemale | Posts: 41 | Points: 427
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itachianddraco09
Personal Assistant
I have been a cutter too and i know how you feel
------- ---Love is another form of Sucide---
9:45 am on May 16, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 12 Join to learn more about itachianddraco09Georgia, United States | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 26 | Points: 146
dood25
Dairy Product Addict
It's great that you haven't cut for 6 weeks. I'm not a cutter, so I don't know how challenging it must be, but I'm rooting for ya.
9:47 am on May 16, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 81 Join to learn more about dood25Alberta, Canada | StraightMale | Posts: 501 | Points: 1,406
swtpie
Wealthy Hobo
Keep going strong. You can stop!
10:00 am on May 16, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 138 Join to learn more about swtpieAlberta, Canada | Posts: 2,506 | Points: 4,065
It's great that you haven't cut for 6 weeks. I'm not a cutter, so I don't know how challenging it must be, but I'm rooting for ya.
I agree that I've never been a cutter, but I had many sucidal thoughts in high school, but I had a GUN. And nothing puts more sense into your head until you have it pointing at your head. And there were so many times I had it pointing there, bc so many people didnt care. But I got tough and got thru it. So I'm glad for you, and congratulations. It's really hard. Props to you.
7:01 am on May 23, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 352 Join to learn more about bluerosedangelIowa, United States | StraightFemale | Posts: 8,207 | Points: 11,960
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It's great that you haven't cut for 6 weeks. I'm not a cutter, so I don't know how challenging it must be, but I'm rooting for ya. 
