Oh honey I feel so bad for you.....I was faced with the abortion decision but ended up keeping my baby. You may think this makes me the worst person to talk to, but I do understand how hard the decision is, to this day I still sometimes think, what if I'd had one. A close friend of mine went through with an abortion about 2 years ago and still finds it hard to cope with as you do. She ended up getting proffesional councelling to help her though it. If you need to talk, I'll do everything I can to be a shoulder to cry on....