About your friend, why did you leave her? It's like breaking up with someone and than being jealous when they start dating someone new. Eventually you will get over it.

No one likes to hear about someone else's sex life constantly. Just tell her you don't want to hear it.

The boy...sorry, it sucks. I can't help anyone when it comes to boy problems, especially myself.

Congrats on stopping cutting. Please don't start again.

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We're navigators, we're aviators, we're eatin' taters, masturbatin' alligators,
bombardiers, we got no fears, won't shed no tears, we're pushin' the frontiers...
of transcendental perception!