And how I do at times, not frequently but often enough, cry because I miss it so much. Even 10 years later -- to be honest, I really don't know if this is some sort of depression, albeit possibly minor, stemming from homesickness, because surely a decade is too long to remain homesick, especially since i've settled incredibly well here?

All that remains true

However, I finally realized what's really bothering me. It's the fact that I can't share my interests over here.

Even though I'm technically American because my parents are American, and even though I've lived in the US now for 10 years, most of my interests arer British-orientied. Sports, music, movies, etc majority i like are British.

I like soccer, which is the most under rated sport here in the US. I like British music and sitcoms too, and so forth.

And while some of my friends have some of these interests too over here, and I am successful at times in introducing these British items to my American friends, it's very rare. And I'm left to enjoy all these things by myself. Which I do - I laugh at the sitcoms, I rock out to the music, etc but I feel incredibly empty.

For the sake of an analogy: I never understood why it was frowned upon to go to the movies by yourself, I never did and will never do, so I couldn't relate. But now I see what it must feel like. No one to share the experience with.

Like I bought Curb Your Enthusiasm on DVD and watched it by myself. It was ok, funny, nothing amazing. But I then brought it over to my best friends house - he loves Seinfield so I knew he would like this - and his laughter made me enjoy it much more. Laughter is indeed contagious (scientifically proven), so it's partly that. But also the fact that I'm sharing the experience

I can't get that with all these British things over here.

And again, it's two fold, too. I love being different with respect to knowing these hidden greats like Music and Shows that will only get released or remade years later in the US, if at all. But I can't stand having no one to relate this too, y'know?

Like, it's been eating away at me for a long time now, obviously, but it's gotten so strong that I've been able to narrow down this decade-long homesickness to this main aspect.

I can't describe the feeling I'm left with. Frustration, emptiness, loneliness, agitation....