I havent written in so long, tonight i finally did, it's a rough draft, but I'm pround nonetheless. Please give me your thoughts and maybe some ways i can revise it. Also i havent titled it yet--if any come to mind let me know.
So here I am, once again. How many times has it been? At least three or four, but yet, I am here once again, the spot in which is to be my final resting place. It has always been so peaceful here, maybe it's the lack of industrial noise, or the glimmering ocean, which lies only inches from me, so close that a gentle mist casts itself upon me with every wave. Whatever the reason, I have always been in love with this spot.
It's funny, really, I'm still not quite sure how I got here, I think I just wandered here, it's not that far of a walk. I tend to wander, especially times like now, my brain is somewhat fogged and I tend to go through motions of things, never really knowing what I am doing.
Now that I seem to be awake, I can't help but notice how perfect everything seems to be today, the sun is as high as ever, heating up the sand, to a warm but bearable temperature. The tide pools around me are thriving, I've always been envious of these little worlds, all the creatures are so close--I imagine this is what it's like to live in a small town, everyone knows everyone, and the outside world is practically unknown--it's a utopia, really. Even the distant noise of the highway seemed to be perfect today, the constant low roar of engines passing by provided some what of a hidden soundtrack for this little cove.
Maybe this is why I've waited so long, and passed up this opportunity so many times, perhaps I have been waiting for the perfect day. What better day than now?
I can't help but to laugh, that today of all days I would chose to be so light hearted and full of appreciation for this world. I mean look at all this world has done for me. Why, its caused me nothing but pain, and turned me into the person I never thought I'd be . I guess that's okay though, I survived through it all I suppose--but, that doesn't change what needs to be done today. Sometimes the only way to fix your life is to start back from nothing, well, that's my hope anyway.
Hat really bothers me is that it wasn't even one event that drove me here, actually, now that I think of it I could have handled just one disaster, and maybe just one act of being tormented, but multiple, of each. No, I cant handle that, it's to much to wear upon my shoulders.
Jesus, if you could only see how this world has changed me, you might understand then, but until you have been here, you wouldn't ever know. Until you have witnessed my tortures, and suffered through this pain you can never fully appreciate my struggles. Don't be like all the bastards either, and pretend that you do, I've seen it before. There is nothing more I'd like to do then force feed the shit I have to go through down the throats of all those morons. You know the ones, they think they understand, but in reality there just fucks, probably hoping you think they understand, so that maybe you'll feel better, but they don't want you to feel better. Oh no, they want to feel like they helped you, only to rid themselves of guilt when you end up in the morgue.
It's okay though, I'm not going to be dealing with that crap anymore, I can't, its just too much. I wonder how many, if any will notice? Maybe those close to me, but the rest, they will just go along, never noticing a thing. And that's how I want it really, no fireworks for me, just peace, that's all I want--just peace.
There isn't much I have left in me, I think all my anger, and pains dissipated on the way over here, this is for the best I do believe. There does come a time when you just need to let go. Deliberately, but slowly I open my tattered bad, the protector of life, both my memories from hell, and my dreams for the future. Out of it I pull, my frayed journals, the only objects I've really been close to over these past five years. I set them next to me, and stare for a short period of time, my eyes well as I think of all that I've endured.
Finally, after drying my face I dig a small hole, barley big enough to fit all my journals, and I place them in it, slowly covering up the years of pain, soon enough the ocean tide will rise, cleansing the pages and saturating the paper. I rise, take my bag and hurl it as far out as I could. That's it, it's over.
I headed back physical the same, I looked no different, I spoke no different. But for once, I held inside of me an inner peace, one that would remain with me from here on out. I was in control again, I finally took back my life. My pains my hatred was all left behind, I and truly reborn, the world has never looked more perfect.
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maybe you should RP 
