After I exited my parent’s car, I walked towards my father’s and my apartment. I knocked on the door after checking if it was locked. It opened, and I saw my father, dressed in a bright orange shirt and khaki shorts. He said, “Hey, how’d it go?”
I replied, “Fine.”
“That’s good.”
I turned around and went into my room. On the desk, on top of a tycoon game, I saw four pictures. Two of my mother when she and my father were still married, one of me naked as an infant, and one of me in the sixth grade standing by my science project. I had made sure to take a good look at my desk before I left the previous Friday, and I knew there were no such pictures lying on my desk or in its vicinity. They would have had to come from one of my picture albums, in which there were several pictures in a side pocket.
I gathered up these photos and stepped out of my door. “Jeff, why were these on my desk?”
He replied, “I don’t know.” It was clear he was trying not to look like he knew what I was talking about, but was doing a very bad job. I couldn’t just call the lie right out. I started into explaining why he had to move them.
“Jeff, I know these were not on my desk. I know what was or wasn’t on my desk before I left. You had to have moved them there.”
A blank look remained on his face. “Meghan, they were on your desk, end of discussion. End of discussion. End of discussion. I don’t know what happened.”
“You had to have moved them. This one was of me in the sixth grade. There’s only one copy. I won’t argue, just tell me what you did. I promise not to argue.”
“Why did you move here then? If you don’t like the way things are, then move out. You’re moving out at the end of the year, what do you care?” He walked around to the other side of the kitchen island. I repeated what I had said, about promising not to argue. He launched right into it.
“Meghan, I just wanted to know about my LIFE; MY CHILDREN AND MY WIFE. MY LIFE, ABOUT THE LIFE I DIDN’T HAVE AND THE MEMORIES I NEVER GOT.” He then inched closer to me.His facial expression was a mix of the kind of look you would get if you were, say, going through childbirth or one a child might get if they dropped their ice cream cone. It did, of course, progress and worsen slowly with his speech.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS? ARE YOU DONE?” It was around this point where he appeared to have started sobbing. As he walked closer towards me, I decided I had gotten what I wanted and backed into my room, shutting the door. He banged on the door a bit before opening it, poking his head around the side to look at me. Pointing a finger, he exclaimed, “I NEVER HURT YOU. YOU ONLY HURT ME. I ONLY WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE, MY CHILDREN AND MY WIFE. I ONLY WANTED TO KNOW! I WAS NEVER A NAZI TO YOU. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.” It isn’t clear to me whether this was the last thing he said, as he may have repeated something. He did, however, walk away at some point and I shut the door.

Feel free to comment on this, give advice, etc.

What I would like to say is that he is probably extremely sad.  He made shitty decisions in his life, that's for sure. But he did miss out on a LOT of time with you.  I am not saying it's your fault.  He is just really sad.  A lot of times, when people bottle things up they all come out like that.  Some people have short fuses attached to a grenade, and some have long fuses attached to a hydrogen bomb.

The important thing is to make sure you are physically safe.  It would really be bad if he went off the deep end and did something to physically harm you.  

Take care of yourself and know your resources.  If things get out of hand, have someone you can call and have a way out of the house.  Try to stay away from him when he is drunk, as that was the root of the issue in the first place.

Take care of yourself hun,
Shaun

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[Rent this space for 200 points a week!]

It sounds like he's full of regret, to be honest. I'm not saying that excuses the way he reacted or anything like that, but it perhaps explains it a wee bit, don't you think? Thing is, you've experienced your life away from him - you have the memories of your mum and siblings, and of your life growing up. He doesn't. He's missed out on all of that, and now that you're living with him, perhaps it's stirring up old feelings and memories and wishes, y'know?

How has your relationship been with your dad since all this happened? All you can really do now (his behaviour providing) is continue to see him, spend time with him, and give him those memories that he missed out on in the beginning, y'know?

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it's broken beyond repair. it's in a million little pieces.