For most of my life, I have went through rejection, particularly at school. I've never had many friends(which I still do not understand to this day because I was being outgoing). To make matters worse, I have had three nervous breakdowns and panick attacks, but yet know one belives me.

Everyday that I wake up I am depressed and to tell you the truth I'm sick and tired of it. Most of my nights are spent contemplating whether or not I should overdose because suicide seems like my only friend right now. My principle didn't belive that I am depressed and neither does my family. I feel like everyone hates me so what choice do I have?

I would really appreciate some help and advice because now I feel as though I am practically knocking at insanity's door. And I have tried talking with my mom but she always puts it as though this situation were my fault and she is overly religious too. She is litterly driving me paranoid telling me day and night that the devil is doing this and that he is constantly after me.

What should I do, overdose or run away? If I run away, I'm not going to anyone's house in particular. It is a secluded forest which I figured would be good because I just need to re-group my mind. I would like to know if this is the best option because besides ODing, I feel that this is my last and only chance.

Bad thoughts have been going through my mind telling me to do things that I'm not even going to mention in this forum. Anyway, it feels good to just get this frustration out of me by sharing with other people. Advice would be much needed to lift me up out of this situation so that not only in the future could I be a help to myself but others who are going through also. Thanks.

freshmen and most of sophmore year were really awkward, but now i'm sort of becoming more comfortabe with myself and people are starting to "take notice" of me i guess.

cant wait till i graduate though.

suicide def isnt the answer.
ts only i few years...it will be over soon!
you'll hit your stride become more comfortable, and your problems will just sort of solve themselves.
either that or you WILL graduate and start a new life.

Post edited at 10:18 pm on June 24, 2008 by paint confetti

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chin up, baby

I think the most important thing to work on is friends. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their lives, some more than others. But there will be people in the same position as you so never think that you're alone like that. Friendship as always been a huge contributor to how happy I feel and I think it's similar for a lot of people. Just try making new friends. Be an approachable person and get involved in conversations, don't just remain on the sidelines, you want people to notice you and get to know you. If you keep quiet you can't do that. Be able to have a laugh and enjoy yourself. If you're constantly thinking how crap this is and whatnot, you'll most likely still feel sad. I've found watching comedy movies helps to increase my happiness and take stress off my mind. It loosens you up so you'll feel better. Play some games with your family or do something else together with your family. It's important to keep a strong family bond, in my opinion. You see them every day so it's nice to relax together and do something fun.

It's particularly difficult if no-one believes in you, especially when those are your parents and your school principal. But you can't let this get you down. Seeing a counsellor at school if you have one, or one outside school would be of great help. They will listen to you no matter what and you can open up to them. Tell them anything. They are trained to deal with these sorts of things and can give you specialist advice that none of us on Livewire could. While it's hard to find a counsellor and arrange a meeting and actually go to it, once you're there you feel a whole lot better. I know there are people here on Livewire who this has helped a great deal, which is why I'd say that's a very good option for you too.

People do care, sometimes it's just hard to notice when everyone has their own problems to worry about and things that put stress on them. This doesn't mean that they don't care, because believe me, your parents probably care about you a whole lot more than you think or they let on to. They are your parents after all and they do love you, no matter what it may seem like sometimes. There will always be hard situations where you feel like you can't go on further, but it's important to keep on going, you'll be grateful of that later on.

Running away isn't something I'd consider either. Again you're very likely to hurt your parents and those that love you, but you also have to think what this will do to you. There are plenty of ways to let out your stress and confusion, running away is not the only and not the best way. Would you be able to manage and live comfortably if you ran away? Most likely it would be really hard on yourself and you're not likely to feel better at all. You'll begin to miss your parents, even if you don't feel like you would now. They are a large part of your life whether you choose to accept it or not, and hurting them is not likely to help you or them. As I mentioned a counsellor is a great person to talk to, but so is a close friend, if you have one that you can trust.

There are lots of paths you can take down the road, but before you approach any, just think of how you would really feel once you've gotten to the end, and how it would affect the people in your life. I hope this has helped, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM anytime.

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and victorious in war shall be made glorious in peace.