I went out with the intention of getting mildly drunk, a little beyond tipsy. It was a good night, a big crowd, and I hadn’t been out since March. Of course drinks were bought for me, and I bought drinks for myself, and really got caught up in it. I started on vodka and reds and finished on aftershocks.

I saw Catherine when I was just a little bit drunk; I just had difficulty walking a bit. She was right in front of me and I made eye contact and her eyes darted away a couple of times before she said “Hi Joey” and I said “Hi Catherine” and gave her a pat on the arm before walking on. That went well; great it looks like we’re friends again.

A couple more drinks, no real change in my behaviour, just a confidence boost. I m walking around looking for Catherine because I'm going to talk to her now, ask her how she is and just return to being friends. I walk on to the dance floor, and then one girl points to this 23 year old hot chick that I know to see, but I don't talk to her and I turn face the girl she's pointing at and the 23 year old tries to kiss me, I turn my head and feel her tongue touch my cheek and then she pushes me back and runs away.

I'm walking along in the nightclub and see Catherine, I smile and she sees me and I stop her and say in her ear smiling “Talk to me” and I don't think she even heard me she just brushed me away and I turn as she walks past and touch her arm and she's looking at me and says something, it wasn't anything, it was just something for the sake of opening her mouth at me.

That was bad, that was very bad. I made an effort, I tried to talk to her, I tried to be friends again, and she didn’t engage in it.

I go back to my mates, a couple of rounds of shots, I'm upset now and trying to hide it and I'm actually really drunk now.

One last effort with Catherine. I see her when I'm with my mate who's keeping an eye on me and Catherine is walking past me, she hasn’t seen me I reach out and touch her arm and she looks at me, no eye contact she sees it’s me and instantly turns away, she ignores me. Her friend Francilla was with her and Francilla was walking with her. Francilla knows everything about me and Catherine.

Catherine doesn’t want to know me, she ignored me, and she won’t even look at me.

I was standing with my mate at the gate after a treble aftershock on the massive amount Id drunk already and I was leaning against the wall beside the gate. Catherine and Francilla are leaving the nightclub, and its 10 mins past kick out time, Catherine is looking the opposite side to me.

She doesn’t even want to see me.

I'm mashed, I can barely stand up and my mate and I leave the club, and we lean against a wall and after a few mins I realize Catherine and Francilla were sitting on a step opposite me and my mate, albeit about 6 ft between us, and I think she was throwing odd glances at me, well she looked at me once anyway. And I was staring at the ground, really fucking heartbroken. I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t even give me a chance to talk to her.  I put my head between my hands and bend over a couple of times to try and clear my head and despair. I'm talking to people I know as they pass me by to try and show her how popular I am, I'm hugging and kissing the girls goodbye and they're all smiling and telling me to take it easy and not to start any fights.

And Catherine is talking to the people who go up to her. She's not paying any attention to me, and my mate moves me somewhere else where other people are to talk to, and Catherine leaves 10 mins later.

I'm not depressed; I'm a little bit upset. I'm more numb than anything; I haven't let my mind dwell on it.  I did a bit as I was driving home. I just can’t believe she wouldn’t even give me a chance to talk to her and just get back to being friends, she ignored me and she avoided any contact with me.

I don't want to see her again; I don't want to talk to her again. I don't want anything to do with her.

I just can’t believe she didn’t even give me a fucking chance.


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Future. Sex. Love. Sound.
Just tell me which way you like it.

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You were completely mashed and you still drove home? Smart move...

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no, my mate took me back to his house and i drove home in just now.

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Future. Sex. Love. Sound.
Just tell me which way you like it.

From the way it seems, you're way obsessed with this Catherine, i know i know, its always the same, "I freakin can't live without her!"

Lets face it - even if you want to have the slightest hope of being friends again, you must respect her feelings. Give her some space when shes quite clearly demanding for it.

The more you demand for love, the more it will depart from you . . If you truly love this person, you WILL be able to let her go it what you truly wish for is her hapiness and what she wants in life. If you can't get over this, trust me, there will be even bigger holes in the road next time - and i'd be thankful it never got that far . .

You say you don't want to have anything to do with her? So now because your desires went unfilfilled it turns to hate? Who's to blame? Deep down you yearn for her, but is that really what you wan't? Or something else? Or is it simply lust?

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The key to victory is the element of surprise.
When that doesn't work, I guess I just gotta gun you down.

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It's been what, 6 months now? Leave it alone. Move on.

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