It hurts me that I have hurt my parents' feelings so many times in the past. I scared them many times. I listen to songs about moms and dads and I get sad. But it's the kind of sad that is like I'm being aware of what I did and I'm willing to change, not the kind of sad that I wanna cut (because I don't cut).

It's not like I have nothing to do because I do but everything I have to do is stressful... I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a time out, I just don't know what to do.

I want to be a singer later on it's 1 or 2 years that I'm gonna start recording professionally but I'm always too desperate to start because singing makes me feel soo...GOOD? well that's not it it makes me feel better physically also, it's kind of hard to explain (a little bit)

I'm not patient at all... well my life is pretty stressful.. I would love some good advice.

It's also ok that you've had some troubles in the past with your parents. We all have! And sure, you might have hurt them and there might have been some horrible times for you all, but as I said, you really can't do anything to change it. All you can do is accept it happened, realise that they were mistakes, learn from it (which is sounds like you have) and learn to move on. Letting yourself be plagued by past actions is only going to lead you down an extremely dark road, love, and I'm certain you don't want that, right? It's basically your choice. I know it's extremely difficult, but try forgiving yourself for all these past events, hmm? They've been and gone and that's it now. You could also try having a quiet word with your parents if you're feeling that bad. Just have a bit of a heart-to-heart with them and try to clear the air a little. Explain that you're feeling a bit rubbish about the past, and you just want to let them know how much you appreciate them and whatnot. You could also try talking about those things in the past that you've done and aren't so proud of. Get them out in the open, tell someone about them, and let that be it. Tell someone you trust, perhaps, and you'll see that people still like you for you. You can still like you for you, despite your past. We've all done things we're ashamed of, but it's when we can recognise those things, learn from them and move on from them that it shows true strength of character, don't you think? It's ok that you feel a little sad about your past, but try not to dwell on it, hmm? As I said, it's just not going to get you anywhere.

Secondly, I actually think it's a really positive sign that you've recognised that everything you're doing at the minute is stressing you out and that you need you need to do something that you enjoy and that gives you a little time out. In order to do that, well, I guess it just comes down to you finding something that you enjoy doing. I have a question though - why can't you enjoy your singing now? Even if you can't record things right now, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from getting together a few music books and CDs and signing your heart out! Right? It sounds like singing does really, really good things for you emotionally so do it! It can actually be a great way to release stress (which it sounds like you need to do) so it might actually really help you a lot. Other than that, it's entirely up to you what you do. Just taking some time out to see friends, going to the gym and exercising, taking time out to read or write or whatever... all those things are things that can relax and calm you, and also help you release some stress.

At the end of the day, I think you know what it is you have to do. Worry and stress is such a very natural part of life, but so is happiness and enjoyment. It's extremely important that you remember that, and if you don't know what to do to enjoy life, then experiment and see what you DO enjoy. I mean, if you find that you're not enjoying anything in life, at all, then I'd maybe suggest a wee trip to the doctors. However, I have a suspicion that you will find things you enjoy doing - everything just seems a little clouded by all your stress and worry and sadness, hmm?

We've got to work hard at life. It might not be the most perfect situation in the world, but it's all we've got and we can only do what we can. Chin up, love. My inbox is always open if you need anything at all.

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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see