Our problem is that whenever he goes to the countryside, there always comes an incident where we end up fighting or arguing about something. It's getting tiring for both our sides... and it probably is mostly my fault.

We fight for really petty reasons:
1) He doesn't take the initiative to actually tell me where he's going, I need to ask it from him. It seems like it isn't an important thing to him to share these small details with me.

2) He says I'm being too strict. That I need to know everything about him. Which is true and well, the reason why I want to know about all the little details is because I want to know what's going on in his life when I'm not around. I believe my crave for being detailed/specific is because I'm a writer, and when I tell him about my day I'm pretty descriptive, I would even describe the place to him.

3) He says I should trust him. That our relationship should have honesty. That when it comes to "important" things he would be honest. But he couldn't even be honest with a little thing like porn (coz he knew I was gonna get mad), how can he be honest with bigger things?

So bottom line is, I don't like how this is going. I don't like how I'm feeling depressed whenever he goes to the countryside. I don't like fighting with him whenever he's away.

So I need advice, on how to loosen up, how to trust him that he will be honest as he says he will be, I want to be happy when he's away. I don't want to center my life to him. It's not healthy and it would probably lead to the end of our relationship.

Please advice will be much appreciated.

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I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul.

I would say explain to him that you just like to know what he's up too. It's not that you think he's going to do anything, it's not that you don't trust him, it's just that you'd like to know when he goes away and you'd like to know about his life outside you.

To make sure that your life doesn't end up revolving around him make sure you have other interests and things to do outside of him, like how he goes to the countryside.

If you have things that you do and so does he then you can make it more normal to talk about things that happen outside of your relationship, inside it, if you see what I mean. And possibly sometimes try to give him some space. For example maybe don't talk to him as much when he's away but talk about it when he gets back so he doesn't feel like you are checking up on him all the time.

Just make sure he knows how you're feeling so you don't get confused. Communication is the most important thing. Good luck =)

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Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder.

When he's out doing stuff, try not to badger him about where he's going and who with. You've been together over two years, and it seems to me that you should be able to trust him enough not to have to know everything.

From what you've put here, it seems to me like a lot of your life is centered around this guy. You get depressed when he's away (natural if it's for a long time), but not really healthy. When he goes away with his family, you need to find ways to distract yourself from not being with him. You can't focus everything in your life on this guy.

He clearly loves you, but everyone needs their space. I live with my boyfriend and we both need time to ourselves sometimes, everyone does. You can't live in eachothers pockets the whole time, you both need space to be yourselves outside of the relationship.

Best of luck :)

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.:Faut souffrir pour etre belle:.
He makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world
[06.07.07] ♥