Next thing i remember is being in a hospital, feeling disorientated, and confused, i'm missing hours and hours where i can't remember anything, i'm alone at the hospitasl, i'm told i was brought here because i had been throwing up in my room becuase of alcohol.

I'm discharged, and get a taxi back home, still not having clue what is going on. I get back and discover what i had missed. I ended up acting totally out of my face, the others thought i was acting like i hadn't just had alcohol, i'd been drugged. I apparantly ended up sleeping with this guy.

But i cannot remember anything at all, the staff at the house talk to me, and advise me to tell the police. I've been raped, but i can't remember it happening. He's arrested, he says that we did have sex but i consented. He's eventually arrested. He's in court this morning to see if he will get bail or not.

You could say that because i can't remember it happening, i can't be traumatised.  But i beleive i am. I still cannot remember anything, my head is still a mess. I can't believe this has happenend.


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I just want to feel wanted/fancied/attractive/loved.

Don't know about English laws, but I know in the US, if you're drunk and have sex with a guy... it's still considered as rape, even if the guy said you gave consent. He took advantage of you when you were at a weak point.

If I were you, I would seek out some help, such as therapy.

I'm really sorry something like this has happened to you. Just stay strong and keep your head held high. You can make it through this.

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