Parents,
Mom, Dad. I smoke weed a lot. I'm not addicted but I smoke it more than I lead you to believe. It makes me feel so much better. Like so free and I don't feel as....depressed. As messed up inside. I feel happy. I know it's wrong to smoke pot. I know its illegal. Tomorrow I'm going to Stanley Park to smoke with Dan. Oh and I really like Dan and we kiss and hold hands. I want him. I want to be with him I want love him someday. He wants the same I hope. I don't care that he's almost 18. I don't care that I'm 14. We are just so much alike. We feel the same. We are slowly falling for each other. I want him so bad. I don't want to have sex. I just I want him. I want him there when I wake up and when I go to sleep. He makes me happy, so happy. So I'm going to lie to you. I'm going to tell you we are just friends. I'm going to tell you I don't smoke pot. I'm going to tell you that we are just going to the movies; we aren't going on a date. I'm going to lie because I really like him and I want to be with him. I'm sorry.

Ray,
I can't deal with it. Not holding you. I think about it all the time. I think about you day and night. I know I ended it, it was time. I miss you though. I want to kiss you and hold you. I want to make love. I want to hold you and keep you safe. I miss you. I haven't cried yet about it, not once. Nine months we lasted. Nine months isn't that long but it was the best damn nine months of my life. I love you still. I love you with all my heart and I'm sorry we had to end, but it wasn't working. I was getting hurt you were getting hurt. I lied about you. I told people you choked me because I didn't want them to know I let an amazing guy go. I still love you...with all my heart.