Okay I've posted before about me having the biggest crush on my best friend. I've liked him, since I can rememeber. Even when I wouldnt admit it to myself, my other best friend Sarah knew. Then I finally admitted to myself.
So a years gone by, still pretty much inlove with him.
& My best friend Sarah says
"C'mon Caitlin, your 16 years old. Just walk up to him & say Hey brandon, I like you, lets fuck"
So I did.
At first he was like
"oh umm okay"
& I was like
"shit. shit I knew I shouldnt have told you"
Then after about.. a week, maybe less.
He tells me he likes me too.
& I'm all like
"Pfft yeah since when"
Then he's like
"Since.. I dont remember, but I've always wanted to say this. Your good looking"
Then, the whole relationship becomes about sex! I mean, yeah I want to have sex with him. But for him thats like, all it's about.
& on top of that he says
"Oh and have you told ayone about us"
I was like
"Umm no, dont you want me too"
& he's like
"No it's just it's my business and nobody else has to know"
Which I kind of beleive, because the whole time I knew him, he never once told me when he liked a girl. & wont even tell me the name of the chick he lost it too.
I dont know what to do.
I want the relationship to be less about sex. Because, I really like this guy. I know I dont LOVE him. Altough it feels like I do now. I know that one day I'll realise its just lust or whatever.
But serioulsy, if this isnt what love feels like. Then I cant wait to fall inlove! You know lol.
Anyway. I just had to get that out there. Considering, I'm not allowed to talk to anyone else about it.
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That could be classed as a weapon. =]
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Erm, since when does sex = love? 
