I keep getting all these sappy, sympathy generating emails from my so called 'friends'. Shit like "little Tommy is dying of cancer [insert photo of some bald kid accompanied by some tediously long, sappy story about how Tommy got cancer and only has 2 months to live and his parents can't afford treatment, etc, etc.], please forward this email to all of your friends, and 5 cents from each email will be donated to poor Tommy's cause". Buuuulll-sheeeiit! Don't the idiots who forward these emails know that there is no way non-existent Tommy or his non-existent parents could track every single forwarded email, let alone the fact that the story isn't true in the first place? Honestly. It's called Google. Use it, and you might find out that it was a hoax after all and think before you go "awwww" and send the email on to another 50 stupid people.
The God/Jesus/moral stories really shit me too. Similar to the cancer/terminal illness stories, I've noticed the religious emails tend to rely on some drawn out sob story which should really be summed up in one sentence, followed by a religious quote, both attempting to reinforce your faith in God. E.g: "God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."
If that's so, then why do so many people not make it through? Why do people not 'land safely'? Did God break his promise? I don't care if I get a miracle from forwarding the email to 7 (it's not 5 or 10 or 15 this time, no, this is a holy email, so it has to be 7) friends. I refuse to.
This particular email I got today consisted of a bunch of quotes accompanied by the not-so-funny, probably photoshopped images I've seen a thousand times. Or was it the other way around, because it seems like the author has collected the images and then gone hunting for vaguely matching and often contradictory quotes, such as:
"Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number"
...and later:
"Be conscious of your appearance" and "Exercise to keep fit"
You can't tell me you haven't seen this stupid image in an email before:
And the stupid message at the end telling you you're heartless if you don't send these 'special' messages on to your friends. More like you realise how fucking irritating it is to read the same uninspiring shit over and over and want to spare your poor friends the agony.
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