my folks asked my and my step bro to clean the house for inspection tomorrow by potential buyers. step brother flakes off helping to go work out until 0100 pacific time(it's 2320 now). so I have no problem cleaning my bedroom, and even the hallways and such...but now knowing he will be asleep until 1300 tomorrow....I have to clean his room too, as well as our bathroom by myself(including unclogging the shower, and cleaning up his mess on his side of the bathroom)....
I'm so annoyed. now I find my dad's fiancee is downstairs in their bedroom, doing whatever...so I'm still alone cleaning. my dad should have been off work 30 minutes ago...and yet he's out doing whatever. and on that front, nothing has changed...I'm still cleaning the house by myself.
I'd have just left everything alone and said "fuck you all, clean the house your own damn selves"....but the state of this house reflects on me too. last thing I need is a bad report from our landlord to my next(I'm moving out separately...I'm not going to stay with them and be treated like dirt...regardless of any of their good intentions.)
It's just so unfair...I have classes all day tomorrow, and an all day performance friday....I don't need this kind of stress. I'm on the verge of just giving up and just leaving...I'll do it too. It's unwise, as I have nowhere to go...but I don't see any other option, as my check does come to this address, and I have no other way of accepting it...
I just spent an hour cleaning my step bro's room, and I still have to get my room organized...and study for my night class tomorrow night(I've only got 5 weeks to have the music memorized, at 1 rehearsal a week when the other classmates have had a 4 week jump on me(the teacher requested my assistance in that choir, making it 3 separate choirs that I have to memorize music in...total of around 25 pieces, not including some of the older works and new musicians in jazz....)
on the lighter side...I took a soda from my step brother's fridge as "payment" for cleaning his room. He has no room to complain, given he's shirking his duties....sigh...another night of no sleep.
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Love is not mine to have, nor to be shared with me...
May I find love in the next life...
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did it take an hour just to write this 
