1. Catherine
2. Alcohol
3. All the attention I get from girls and friends, without having any REAL friends

And people can't really help me:

1. People tell me to try and get over her, but I cant, and Ive tried, I guess if I let go of her I let go of myself, or part of myself, the part i liked best. They tell me to talk to her, I cant get through her bodyguard of a best friend to talk to her, and the other two friends I know of hers are hitting on me. And then all I can think is how I opened the bar door and laughing with my mate and I just stopped and Catherine and I held eye contact for a long tme, seconds passed and we stared at each other until I turned...

2. I get messages off people telling me to go to AA, and that its people like me that make the world a more dumb place. Ive given up alcohol, but I still want to go out and get hammered, not cos Im addicted to alcohol, I only drink when I go out. But I ENJOY getting hammered and not being fully sure whats happening, and then people telling me how drunk I was...and then girls telling e Im really nice when Im drunk and theyd love to meet me when Im sober.

3. I get messages off guys telling me they would kill for girls to be trying to kiss them and dance with them every time they go out. They say theyd love their friends to lavish attention on them and for every one in the night club to know them. I used to like it, I used to love it, but now I just wanna sit down with my mates and watch other people causing mkayhem instead, I dont want the bouncers checking me for drugs all night long. I dont want girl pulling me over to dace with them. Ive given up clubbing. I want a girl older than me, someone I can look up to, whos the boss and will look after me, like Catherine did.

I closed my account on lw, cos I didnt think it was gettng me anywhere, and I thought it was just escalating everything in my head, cos things arent really that bad. But Im back, cos even just writing it down like this helps.

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Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

I'm going to quickly talk about two things - the alcohol and the girls. Firstly, it doesn't sound like you've got a worryingly huge problem. Think about it - how many people our age go out and get hammered these days at the weekend, after a long week at work? A whole lot, believe me. I do, all my friends do, most people my age that I know do. It's become part of our culture more than anything, and if going out once a week or so to a club and having a good drink means you have a problem, then gosh, don't we all. Going out at the weekend and having a good drink is something a hell of a lot of people do, and unless it's affecting you health wise, or in your day to day life, I don't think it's something for you to fret over. Do you think it's a problem, or are you more concerned with the people on LW who consider it a problem? I think what you need to distinguish between is whether or not you have a problem with alcohol, or a problem with how you react to what people think of you (I'm not saying this is a bad thing, it's quite concerning, more than anything). If you DO consider it to be a problem, and it's affecting you in other areas of your life, well, that's when you need to do something about it (stop going out and surrounding yourself by drink, for example).

As for the girls, well, all you can actually do about that one is reject their advances and focus on making and meeting new friends and such. I've thrown out ideas about this one before. Getting a job wouldn't be a bad idea for you all round - it'd help you meet new people, it'd get you out and about, and it'd bring in some extra cash that I know you need for college. So it's an idea. As is making the effort to keep in contact with people. I know that keeping in touch with friends when we've all moved on to new and different things is hard, but if you want to keep hold of these friends badly enough then you WILL do it and you CAN do it.

I'm not sure what else I can tell you about Catherine, though, without repeating myself. Perhaps moving on from her will mean that you DO have to let part of yourself go, but it certainly doesn't mean that you have to let the part of yourself that you like go, or let your happiness go. I do think it's essential that you keep trying to move on from her - and stop with the "I've tried and can't" - just keep going and keep trying. Unless you want to spend all your time obsessing over her and wishing and wondering over what could have been. I can't say anymore than I already have, and that I think you should continue pressing on with life and doing the things that need to be done - college, thinking about a job, seeking new friendships, making an effort with the friends you already have, stuff like that.

Post edited at 10:31 am on May 9, 2008 by amiee

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it's broken beyond repair. it's in a million little pieces.

Number 2 can be solved by going out and getting drunk, eriously if you're like me, you only get shitfaced when you're out at a club/party.
But you don't drink any other time??
Sure that's the same as me!!

Number 3, with the attention from girls and people thing, yeah i hae that "problem" but i'm cool with it, i can act weird on a dancefloor and scare girls away or just insult them, they don't like that!! Plus it's funny when they try to slap ya!! 9I've been punched by girl's on dancefloors)

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Living with a Kildare state of mind!!
Celbridge Alley Crew!PEACE!