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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Friends & Family / Viewing Topic

my dad touched me
a long time ago.
Replies: 3Last Post June 17, 2008 8:34pm by Stand Up
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( ohbaker17  )


Executive
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A long time ago, probably 5 years ago, my dad used to lift the waistband to my pajamas when we were watching movies and either look at my crotch or sometimes he would come in my room and touch my vagina. He always thought I was sleeping but i'd always wake up, too afraid to confront him. *Can he still get in trouble for this? Sometimes when we're fighting I just wanna say that I know what he did. Because he doesn't know that I Know.

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Don't let your dreams be dreams.
-Jack Johnson

8:11 pm on June 17, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 232
Join to learn more about ohbaker17 Wisconsin, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 795 | Points: 3,139
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noraa


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I'd say talk to him about it. Tell him that you remember it, and that it bothered you. Be sure somebody else is in the house when you talk about it. Say that you remember it and it makes you uncomfortable.

Does he ever still touch or look at you in this way? If so, you should really get help from somebody. Talk to a therapist, a school counsolor, or your mother. Somebody that you can trust.  

It's not right that he's done this to you, and he shouldn't get away with it. You may be scared, most people would be. But if you tell somebody now, he can't hurt you in the future.

The being said, it WAS years ago, and he may have changed. Talk to him and see how it goes.

Post edited at 8:18 pm on June 17, 2008 by noraa

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and while you were sleeping some men came around,
said they had some dimensions to take.
i'm not sure what they were talking about,
but they sure a mess of your face.


8:16 pm on June 17, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2007 | Days Active: 605
Join to learn more about noraa New York, United States | Metrosexual Female | Posts: 8,505 | Points: 15,748
( ohbaker17  )


Executive
Reply
he doesnt do it anymore, but he hasnt really changed. i just feel really akward around him. like i dont like to do anything that might be slightly sexually suggestive around him. i.e. wear shorts. bend over, go from the bathroom to my room in a towel, wear a swimsuit etc.

-------
Don't let your dreams be dreams.
-Jack Johnson

8:21 pm on June 17, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 232
Join to learn more about ohbaker17 Wisconsin, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 795 | Points: 3,139
Stand Up

Guru

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Hey.

You made the first step by telling somebody, even if that person is a stranger.

Think about what/how do you want to manage this situation. Things could change for the best/worst according on how you manage it. I suggest to make a plan before making irational acctions.

Talking with a friend about it could be a start, and then eventually with your mom or a person you trust a lot.

Have you consider seeking professional help about it? Like a counselor so that you can overcome the issue?
- Sometimes when we talk about it we can understand things we didn't exactly understand at the beggining.

You mentioned that you are uncomfortable about doing certain things around him, which is understandable after a situation of this type. The trust has been taken away and you need to decide if you want him to gain it back or cut it because it's harming you.


Ofcourse your dad can still get in trouble because of that. The question is what do you exactly want to do about it. As far as I know if you take it to court it will be hard to prove that he touched you and you would have to have a good case to do something. It really depends.  Do you want to move on? Confront him? etc. Define what exactly YOU want to do and what you could give you comfort, peace of mind, etc.


People make mistake and hurt us all the time but that doesn't mean they are horrible people. It's been years since that he could have changed and want to change; you'll never know if you don't give him the benefith of the doubt. It might seem hard, because well why would you cut him some slack if he didn't do the same for you and abused your intimacy in that way? - Well that's a question of if you are able to forget and try to learn to move on, be the bigger person, etc.


Being angry, asking for revendge and all of those things won't change the past. I think that you need to give yourself the opportunity to heal. Now, I'm not saying you need to FORGET your dad about it or anything like that because that's completly up to you, BUT what's important here isn't HURTING YOUR DAD, No.. It's Healing yourself. Learning to deal with it and all fo that. Life isn't fair but we can make it better depending on how we handle this type of things. We don't need to be defined by something that happened in the past.


Do you feel that you are strong enough to talk with your mom and consequently your dad about it? - Perhaps confroonting the situation could be an answer. You might want to give him the chance to say what he feels and if he has done something about it. Speaking about it might give you the peace you want. It's really up to HOW you want to act.


Good Luck.


8:34 pm on June 17, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 471
Join to learn more about Stand Up France | Gay Male | Posts: 23,350 | Points: 24,582
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