Anyone else who has dealt with this before could you give me some suggestions?

I had two potential options in my mind at the moment that I'm not sure if he will or will not agree to being:

1. When we visit each other we have longer visits like a couple more days than usual.
or
2. I could move up with a friend up at school and get a full time job so that I'm closer to him.

Post edited at 7:36 pm on June 17, 2008 by starrynight401

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do option one

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you probably dont want to visit too long at a time. if  this is a serious relationship and you think it could lead to marriage then i would say move closer if you can and if it wont be too much of a hinderence

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Quote: from MapleGunman at 8:22 am on June 12, 2008

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do option one

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you probably dont want to visit too long at a time. if this is a serious relationship and you think it could lead to marriage then i would say move closer if you can and if it wont be too much of a hinderence

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I was thinking a bit of the same thing and still it would be hard to schedule around our jobs when we could actually both put down that kind of time.

I think he might say no to me moving up here because he always feels that I should be spending time with my family too.

It was VERY difficult, and I won't deny that we came to a near break up quite a few times, but we pushed through.  After nine months, he finally came and moved.

I believe the first option is best for you.  I don't see a reason in changing you life so drastically.  In my case, I moved somewhere else for college (even farther away), and he moved there too because there was a college one hour away from my college that he wanted to go to.  So while it was a drastic change, it wasn't out of place, as it was time for both of us to move out anyway.

For this reason, I think option number one is the best.  Try it out, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.  Distance can either break or make a relationship, that's just how it is.  If you can last through it, it may make your relationship stronger.  But in some cases, even though you love the other person, the physical and mental toll it takes on you can often be too much.  A friend of mine, who loves his girlfriend dearly, thinks that they need to move on, because long distance like this is not worth it.

So personally, I think you need to wait before moving in with a friend and working full time.  If you're going to make a move like that, do it when YOU're ready and you have no other responsibilities where you currently are.  Then plan ahead.  My boyfriend rushed and moved here before finding a job, and his savings depleted fairly quickly.  Not to mention, when he did have a job, something happened, and the company cut his hours in half.  You have to be ready for that kind of stuff, so don't jump the gun, you gotta make sure things are set first.  Because at the end of the day, if the relationship doesn't work out for some reason, you don't want to think you wasted some of your life for something that never took you anywhere, right?