But I have been with this boy for three years of my life. One of those years has been spent thousands of miles apart from each other when I chose to go to college nearby in Pennsylvania and he went away to college in Texas. Not only that, but his entire family is native to Texas, and his father got a job opportunity that moved them all back there. So it wasn't like he was coming back to see me during all his breaks. He moved his entire life to Texas, except for me. I stayed behind.

We kept it going for another year until now. He ended it two nights ago on the phone. I really thought we were going to make it; there was talk of proposing and everything. But suddenly he decided that he needed to get on with his life in Texas and couldn't because he felt I was holding him back in his old life. He still wants to be friends but his feelings have changed because of the distance. Living his college experience to the fullest, including dating, is now more important to him than keeping our three-year-long relationship alive.

It hurts so much. I never saw it coming. Apparently he's been questioning this for a while but never wanted me to know his feelings were changing because he didn't want to hurt me until he was absolutely sure. He's coming to visit me in two weeks so we can see each other one last time and so he can end it in person. I know it will only make my pain a thousand times worse but I need to see him. I don't believe that it's really over because all I've had from him due to the distance is words, and his words used to be loving and comforting and all of a sudden they've changed to uncaring and hurtful. Inside I know that it's really ending but for some reason I can't make my heart believe it.

I'm hurting so badly. Three years of my life have been dedicated to him, and I don't know how to function without him. I don't know how to live a life that he's not a part of. Please help me. I really don't want to go on because I don't see a purpose. I know I need to learn how to live for myself but I can't. I don't know how. For three years I've lived for him.

Help me.

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We had some massive nights
Every song was right
And all I wanted was time

Sweetie, I know it's hard and I know much you must be hurting right now, but I think this is for the best. Three years is a long time and there are a LOT of feelings there, but if he doesn't feel the same for you as he did at the beginning, I really think he's doing the right thing by ending it. I know it's painful and I can totally understand how hard you must be finding this, but think about it, do you really want to be with a guy who doesn't feel the same way about you anymore?

It's natural that he's moved on. He lives thousands of miles from you, and has everything else in his life near him. This might sound horrible, but if you're that far away, it was probably easier for him to end it. Long distance relationships are very difficult - you can't see the person everyday, and you need to arrange meetings with eachother weeks in advance. Last minute changes can mean you don't see eachother for months - it's not easy.

Things with you will get better, I promise. It will take time. Don't be afraid to cry and please, lean on your friends. You need support right now - and they will help you. You need to let everything out of your system - cry if you need to, sleep if you want, or just talk to someone. Anything to make sure you don't bottle things up inside is a real bonus.

Stay strong sweetie. My inbox is always open - best of luck :)

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.:Faut souffrir pour etre belle:.
He still gives me the butterflies - [06.07.07] ♥
She was everything beautiful and different