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Web Resources: Rape Myths Dispelled, Help & Information about Rape
USA Rape, Abuse and Incest Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
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( Anonymous )
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Last night I did something, and since I've been so disgusted in myself, suicidal even. I was at a party and the girl I've crushed on (just a mere crush, she's absolutely stunning, so pretty much every guy I know has a crush on her) for while now was there. I see her around all the time, we're acquaintances (I wouldn't say friends because we don't like call each other but we do talk). She's very friendly/charming, very very sweet, very nice personality. Well when I got to the party, I just started drinking and drinking, I hadn't seen her around there yet, nor did I know she was there yet, but a while after (after I was pretty much plowed) I saw her. She was beyond trashed, and I mean beyond gone, barely able to function, and I was almost just as bad. She has a boyfriend who is very good to her, and she likewise to him, but I don't know where he was, so I started taking care of her even though I needed someone to take care of me, lol. Before I knew it, we were in a room, making out if that's what you would call two disgustingly drunk people, and it was mostly my doing. This girl could barely mumble, to be honest. Anyways, only God knows how I got a hard on AND a condom on without fucking it up, and then being able to have sex her. I raped her, yes I know that, I am truly disgusted in myself. I KNOW for a fact that if she would have even been a little bit more sober than she was she would have been able to stop herself from doing it, she would NOT have done that to her boyfriend, ever. The thing is, is that I KNOW she knows she "had sex" or was raped because obviously it wasn't good sex as I was not able to do that, and she was really tight (sorry TMI) and I was really plowing at it (sorry disgusting, I know) so I know she would be sore. I'm not worried about going to jail(or juvie), seriously, I deserve it I don't even care, but I don't know what to do right now. Should I tell her? Should I tell her boyfriend what I did? I don't even know, her boyfriend and I see each other at football workouts every day this summer...I am soo fucking confused please help me
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medjai
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Talk to her about it, there's no reason to talk to anyone else.
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O` tru apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick.
Thus with a kiss I die.
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6:21 pm on June 9, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2003 | Days Active: 1,595
Join to learn more about medjai California, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 17,156 | Points: 39,889
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amiee
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Because of the circumstances of this, I'd suggest you talk to her about it, too. You said yourself that you were "disgustingly drunk" so it's not like you went in there after her completely sober with ill-intent, so the circumstances here are a little different. I reckon she'll be feeling pretty shitty about the whole situation, much like you are yourself, and talking about it might make you both feel a little better about what happened. I won't go on much further than that - it shouldn't have happened but it has and all you can do now is deal with the consequences. Have a chat with her, see how she's feeling about the situation.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see
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4:44 pm on June 12, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2005 | Days Active: 1,267
Join to learn more about amiee Scotland, United Kingdom | Posts: 9,834 | Points: 21,295
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Hexer
Swami
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There is always a confusing line between rape and consensual sex. While she didn't consent... She didn't object (or you didn't say so). I assume she was still concious so to say, though it is unknown if she could act. What happened dances on that line, but maybe the safe side of it... I don't know. What happened aside, I think you need to talk to her, but you'll need to approach it right. I think it is important to resolve this for both your sakes, she'll wanna know what happened and you obviously need personal resolution. At the end of the day you went to the room and made out together, that had to be consensual. Boyfriend or not, she chose to make out with you. Alcohol only acts as an excuse so far. It is not like she was dragged into that situation. The alcohol put you into that situation together. Just talk, and resolve it between you. Things should work out, if all be it awkward.
I do not condone what happened... But I hardly think it was premeditated rape... Post edited at 5:51 pm on June 12, 2008 by Hexer
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Hexer™ ~ I'm just happy to be me :)
~ Cheer up and have a digital cookie ®
Hexer County
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5:49 pm on June 12, 2008 | Joined: July 2005 | Days Active: 333
Join to learn more about Hexer England, United Kingdom | Straight Male | Posts: 3,764 | Points: 27,140
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