I know a bit of what you've gone through from what you've told me, but I don't know the complete story. All I can say is that you're alive and life isn't a playground but at least you're alive. That simple act is an amazing thing to have. I really hope you're seeing an specialist and that things get little by little better.
My inbox is alway open. :)
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Happiness is not a thing that can be pursued,
chased or won. It can only be chosen.