But sometimes I don't want to be so in love. I'm only 19 and I feel like I should be going on dates, meeting people, experiencing life, not being part of a serious relationship. And because I do love him, I think to myself, is it better for me to break up with him? Only i can't, because although part of me wants to be single I can't imagine not being with him. I love him so much and not being with him would make me unhappy.

Anyone else able to relate to all this crazy babble?

Love is a scary thing. It can take us places that you could never imagine. It can make you sad, happy, hurt, confused, and every other feeling in the book. When you're in love you can't see yourself with anyone else and it's an amazing feeling, but it's also scary because you're giving your whole heart to the other person. Your body, your soul, and your life along with it.

I've been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years. I'm 19 years old and I'm pretty sure we both plan to be together for the rest of our lives. We planned a baby together which has yet to arrive. I haven't once thought that maybe I should be out there looking because I've found everything I need, everything I want. He protects me and he keeps me safe. He shows me love when everyone else has turned their back on me. There were times when we only had each other. I don't think that either one of us would be here, right where we're at today if it wasn't for each other. We plan on getting married soon. He's my whole world along with this baby we've made. Now, a long with the happiness there have been fights, pain, tears. What we've gone through together I think is what makes us stronger. It's what makes us unique.

You say you're only 19 and you should be dating and stuff. Well, isn't the point of dating finding the right person to be with? If you've already found that person then you shouldn't give up that happiness for something you think you "should" be doing. You should consider yourself lucky. Some people in this world can search their entire life from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall to sleep and never fall in love. But, you've fallen in love. If you can't think of yourself of being with out him then why put yourself in that position. Don't ruin what you have now because you may never get it back.

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-*-Due August 22nd-*-

I suppose I should talk to him. I guess I was wrong that we can't talk about anything. I said something similar the other day and he said that he's so happy in the here and now with me and that's all that matters. Which is a really good thing to say.

But even if he IS someone I could be with forever, and even though I feel like he is sometimes I refuse to admit it because I don't want to get married so young, I don't want him or anyone else to be my world. I don't want to be entirely dependent on someone like that.

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I didn't mean to make it sound like a fantasy. Or maybe I did. Because it is so wonderful, better than anything I could imagine and I feel so lucky all the time. Of course there are fights (although not often) but they aren't really fights as I think of them, we don't get mean or anything. Someone will have hurt feelings or be upset about something and tell the other one, and we'll fix it.

I suppose I should talk to him. I guess I was wrong that we can't talk about anything. I said something similar the other day and he said that he's so happy in the here and now with me and that's all that matters. Which is a really good thing to say.

But even if he IS someone I could be with forever, and even though I feel like he is sometimes I refuse to admit it because I don't want to get married so young, I don't want him or anyone else to be my world. I don't want to be entirely dependent on someone like that.

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I know for a fact that fights can hurt someone's feelings and the longer you are together the bigger your fights are. It's the making up that makes everything better. But, your fights are what holds you together. I know how great love can be.

Okay say that you do give up being with him because you feel that you need to go out and explore. Whose to say that he won't find someone new and fall in love with them? Whose to say he won't marry someone else and you've lost your chance forever. Just because you marry someone does not mean you have to completely depend on them. Basically it's team work and you work together.

My fiance and I have been through too much that we have to depend on each other. We really had no one else. I'm not going into details and explaining my entire life or his, but, if it wasn't for each other we wouldn't be here. We would have been long gone a long time ago. When I mean gone I mean he would probably been in trouble and I probably wouldn't be breathing. It's amazing how love can change everything.

If you think that you want to go and explore the world, be my guest. Just hope that he's still there when you're done.

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-*-Due August 22nd-*-