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I imagine right now you're feeling a lot like this is your fault, but let me assure you, it's definitely not!  The boy you lost your virginity clearly didn't realize what a cool person you are.  I'm truly sorry about your parents and how they treat you.  If you have any sort of religion, I would suggest going to church more often.  If you don't want to go the religious route, then seek out free counseling if you can.  School psychologists and counselors were put into schools for this exact reason.  Because your mother doesn't want to deal with what you're going through, try explaining exactly where you're coming from to your friends.  Ask their advice and then ask if they've ever had anything like this happen to them, you might be suprised because they could be going through exactly the same thing.

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