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Tall Hazel-Eyed Stud Seeks Supportive Members |
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 Replies: 9 — Last Post April 29 2:06pm by Bud2400
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( Prince o palities )
Marebito
 Patron
Support Leader
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This will be about the second time that I can remember actually asking for help on these forums. The last time wasn't all that helpful. Regardless, I'll try to keep this short since I know I hate reading through paragraphs of stupid before getting to the question at hand. I have a rocky relationship with my family, particularly my older brother. He is getting married in July, and I talked to him about whether or not he would care if I didn't make it. He said that he would care a lot if I didn't make it, so I said I'd be there. Well, the cost is an issue, but not the main one. Ashley isn't coming with me to keep cost down and I'm staying with family. However, he is getting married on a Saturday at 3 in Seattle. I have a final here in Arkansas at 3 on Friday. I can't get a flight out Sat. that gets me there in time to see the wedding, but if I try to fly out Fri., then the earliest flight I can catch would put me there around 11, and the airport is hours away from where I would be staying. On top of all of that, I have no sure way to get to the airport here. So:
- I don't want to go.
- It's costing me a sizable chunk of change.
- The hassle is becoming overwhelming for me and the numerous people who will have to accommodate me.
Put yourself in his shoes. Do you take it personally if I tell you I can't come? Should I take the answer to the first question into consideration when I make my decision? In other news, don't forget to enter your answers in the LiveWire Support Lottery (click)
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The Marebito says...nothing at all.
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kendall716
SuperNovice
Patron
Support Leader
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Hi PooP Since I don't hate you to terribly I suppose that I can assist you. Anyway, First of all I will step into your brothers shoes for a moment. You mentioned that your relationship with your family is rocky as it is. I'm sure that if you miss your brother's wedding it would not help the situation at all. If I were your brother, I would probably be a bit hurt at the situation myself. I would like to ask; Did he attend your wedding? If so, this puts you in even more of a bad place. If he missed your wedding then I suppose you have a get out of jail free card for his. The least you should do is try and make it there in time to attend the reception. It would be good if you made the wedding entirely, but I think that he would really appreciate you trying and making the reception. Don't stress about this too much. Especially if you have finals because that is honestly the most important thing at hand. Focus on your school and put this in the background. Talk with your brother about it and let him know what all is going on. See how he feels. Maybe he won't take it as personal as I would (assuming I'm a girl and dream of the perfect wedding.) You know your brother better then we all do. As for the money, if you do get to go I think that it's a worthy cause for a hefty chunk of money. By the way. Mr. Mod. Linking to a contest is not allowed 
Naughty Mod.
It would be funny if I reported this because you could very easily be the one to deal with it.  Post edited at 12:08 pm on April 25, 2008 by kendall716
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livejournal.
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EndLess LoVe
Lovay
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To be honest I would be a tad upset but your situation is understandable. It's normal to feel guilty but if you can't make it your brother should take no offense and understand that you have tried and have gone out of your way to be there but things aren't coming together as you thought it would be. You are in no way trying to ruin his big day and this has nothing to do with any problems you both have had but your financial situation along with the other issues have lead you to believe that the best thing for you to do is to not attend.
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ManicD
Enlightened One
Patron
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Ok, The way i look at it is that your saying you have a rocky relatioship with yoru family as it is. Your brother is getting MARRIED, if i was in his postion, i would be thinking its at this time in life you really realise whats important in life, and as hes starting to create a new family, he wants his old family to be part of it. To me, him saying it mattered is his attempt at reaching out and wanting to repair old wounds, he wants to make friends with you again and wants you part of his new life. The way i see it, family and friends are verty important, if i was in yoru situation and had a brother offering me the hand of friendship, i'd do my dam best to be there at his wedding. As for accomidation, i'm sure its not excessive trouble for someone to let you in when you arrive, its not like a regular thing. I'd definatly go, but in the end its up to you, this is the moment of truth, forget the past and be friends for teh future OR end up making small talk once a year at family gatherings because you dont really know each other anymore
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I touched the sky, then gave it away to make the world a lil better
LiveWire History Group
Not allowed to say lesbian anymore, Its women in comfortable shoes
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7:19 am on April 26, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 728 Days Active
Join to learn more about ManicD England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Male | 6421 Posts | 16616 Points
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hithere
Novice
 Sustainer
Support Leader
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i'm a sucker for not wanting people to be mad so instinctively i'd say do whatever you can to get there. but your relationship may be at the point where going against one's word has been done enough before that this time wouldn't make much of a difference. still, since you cared enough to ask i'm finding it hard to consider the idea of not going.... you're staying "hours" away? mind telling where, or at least the distance? but yeah, the prospect of driving hours from sea-tac and then hours to seattle in half a day, after you had the whole hassle of flying, doesn't sound very nice. were you planning to have your family drive you to their house? i can see how that might be a hassle for them. you could book one of the motels near the airport there. here's one that looks like under 60 bucks. your family could pick you up there on the way to seattle. seems like that would be a lot easier for everybody, even though you would be spending more. as far as deciding based on whether or not you want to go: i think it is somewhat important. if you don't think the ceremony itself will be worth it to you, you probably should actually consider backing out. but i guess the main thing is whether you have respect for him. you may not like him, but if you've maintained some sort of connection that makes you care about more than "not being a good (insert noun here)," it might override the unwillingness to involve yourself. i hope i'm making a little sense. i guess i'm saying, in other words, don't see it as what you want vs. what he wants, or what you want to do vs. what you should do. see it as what you feel about him vs. the importance of maintaining a connection with him. gah, i feel like i'm spewing bullshit. and tell him about having trouble getting it all set up, before you decide. so that if you end up not going he'll see it coming early on. Post edited at 10:52 pm on April 26, 2008 by hithere
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koopatroopa is my e wife and she is kewler beanz than you k
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Bud2400
Guru
Patron
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Well, just let me know if you need anything. I can't promise anything, though, as I do put in many hours at my work on my weekends, but I'll see what I can do.
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2:33 am on April 29, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2004 | 1073 Days Active
Join to learn more about Bud2400 Washington, United States | Straight Male | 5826 Posts | 22800 Points
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( Prince o palities )
Marebito
Patron
Support Leader
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Doesn't matter. I got it all taken care of.
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The Marebito says...nothing at all.
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OR end up making small talk once a year at family gatherings because you dont really know each other anymore 
Hope all goes well for you then. 
