In my lifetime of 16 years I've come to know a few cutters. An ex girlfriend of mine was a cutter. My current girlfriend used to cut. I have an online friend I've known for nearly a year who cuts. But me, I've only tried it. Just to see what they felt in it. I'm fortunate enough to have not become an addict. I was able to get help before I came to that. Unfortunately, there are teens out there who have not gotten help and their lives are becoming worse and worse everyday. I feel I owe it to them to do what I am about to do in this thread. I am about to explain to you what cutting is and what it can become; an addiction. WARNING - Before you make that first cut remember: You will enjoy this. You will find the blood and pain release addictive. Even though you think you can make a couple tiny cuts that's aren't deep and that will heal easily, they will get deeper. They will scar. They will take sometimes months to heal and years for the scars to fade. If you think you can limit the cutting to one part of your body, think again; it will spread when you run out of room on one part of your body.
*Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame* Even if you are the most honest person to have ever lived, you will find yourself lying to the people you love. You will jerk back from friends when they touch you as if their hands are dipped in poison. You will be terrified they might feel something under your clothes or just because it plainly hurts to be touched. Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be. Just watch as the 2 or 3 tiny cuts you plan on making turn into hundreds of large, long cuts.
*Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around cutting, thinking of cutting, and covering up cuts* Just wait till that first time you cut too deep and you start freaking out because the blood won't stop coming out, but because you're too scared to tell anyone, you pray that it will be over soon and you promise yourself it will be the last time. But you will, even after having a panic attack and losing large amounts of blood and becoming dangerously dizzy that you pass out, you will do it again.
*Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts as you continue* You will automatically learn to treat your self made injuries as you progress. Your cuts will get deeper and deeper over time, but you'll manage to stay out of the emergency room. The better you get at treating your injuries the deeper they will get. You'll lie to yourself and justify it when you spend 20, 30, 50 dollars at each visit to the drug store. You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat every time you go to the counter to ring up your order. Your stomach will get all queasy, your heartbeat ratio will increase, you'll even feel like throwing up. You'll hope no one will question you as to why you are purchasing all these odd things, but at the same time you're actually hoping someone might notice. Hoping someone in line might have the same things you have and might know what you're going through. But, of course, that never happens. Butterly strips, three or four different kinds of medical dressings, antibiotic cream, Betadine, medical tape, scar reducers, that's just a small preview of the medical items you will become familiar with as your cutting progresses.
*Medical supplies won't be the only thing you spend your money on* Long sleeve shirts, boots, gloves, etc, etc. The list can go on. You will start looking at people in different ways. Scanning them and seeing if they have any self made injuries as well. Looking for someone like you, someone to relate to so you don't feel so alone. You won't even notice you're doing it as your eyes scan other peoples' wrists, hands, legs, etc, etc. But they usually aren't. You will see they have clean, smooth, wrists and hands. Totally free from self injuries. You will start feeling even more alone. You will start doing a lot alone once you become a cutter.
*You will always have to was your laundry and cuts alone* You couldn't risk someone seeing the blood stains on your clothing and towels. You will always be cleaning up blood off the bathroom floor, from your keyboard, or from your cut. Not a day will pass that you won't cut.
*It just keeps getting worse and worse* Next thing you know you're in a public bathroom breaking open a scab with a needle you keep in your wallat for suck emergencies. When you get desperate enough, anything can be a cutting tool. A pen, a paperclip, a needle, scissors, etc, etc... It doesn't matter what it is or where it's been. If you need to cut badly enough you'll use it.
*Say goodbye to a normal life* Things you once took for granted like wearing a bikini to the beach, wearing sandals, wearing shorts, pedicures, etc, etc. Those things will no longer be a part of your life as a cutter. Normal summer days chilling with friends by the pool side will be nothing more than a memory.
*Get ready to itch because you will* You'll itch so bad it'll look like you have fleas or a skin disease. You will become an expert on your body as you slowly destroy it. You will dream about cutting. You will dream about being exposed. It will haunt you day and night, in your thoughts and in your dreams. It will take over your life. You'll wish you never made that first cut, cause while you hate cutting, at the same time you love it. You can't live without it and it will be the reason you don't live much longer...
Sad, isn't it? Why would you want to live a life like that? If you're like me then you wouldn't. I know life is hard, I know that as much as anyone else, but don't let that become an excuse to falling into the Hell world of cutting.
If you need support to stop cutting or help to prevent it you can always talk to me. I am not small minded and I will not judge you. I will do nothing but listen and give any advice I can give.
I am not a doctor or a licensed therapist, but I can be your friend. However, I am not selfish. I will always advise you to seek profession medical help ASAP. Good luck, cutters in quiting and cutters in general.
**Edited for spelling and grammar errors. No information was changed.**
Post edited at 8:26 pm on Oct. 27, 2007 by Thuggen
-------
Written Promises isn't just a LiveWire group anymore!
Join The Written Promises Forums!
In the words of my LiveWire angel, "God bless" ~girl19~
454 users online 
157973 members 
You have 1 new message.
Patron
Sustainer
almost everything that you said is very true. when you are a cutter (or for those offended by that a SI-er) its a harsh realization about your life and how you are living it when you decide its gone too far and its time to quit but only you can decide that. my school is filled with cutters (SI-ers) and only one or two have actually gotten professional help. i personally refuse professional help. my family doesnt know about my cutting only a few friends do. my family doesnt believe in stuff like therapy they think if you are having problems you should be able to talk them out with your family. i have tried to talk to them and they dont understand and say i am just fine. they dont realize how i truly feel about things they think dont or didnt bother me. my life is no longer normal. i have to hide the scars and cuts which is even harder now that it is summer and my family always goes to the lake. i will only wear a bikini so im constantly hiding scars. im ready to be rid of this horrible life style and ive done a lot of research on it and it really helped. im on the road to recovery! 
i am 16 and i also cut. but i am in the process of quiting. my best friend tyler doesnt cut be he is helping me through it 
