I'm the only one that responded to this person who was posting eHelps about how to close their account. This is what I got in return.
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help people when they need it Rating:
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Your Response
Go to My Account, on the right click the link that says "Close Account." Voila.

While my response wasn't exactly the best, it was the only one, and it answered the question. I mean, what the fuck. Come on.
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And when you're up watching cartoons at like 3 in the
morning you're nice and low to the ground
with your bean bag chair so when you
roll over you can sleep on the floor naked with your bag of cheetos