Ashley

(Edited by talldoll77 at 11:20 pm on Aug. 5, 2006)

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well, if u lived my life, being thck (not fat), the boyz like that. that's just black girl to black boy

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I love that and envy you. lol. I used to feel like that and wanted bigger curves. I don't know what happened, but I've noticed that eating disorders tend to occur more frequently with 15-30 year old caucasian women in the United States than anywhere else. i just read somewhere the other day that since our values are becoming more and more woven into other societies, eating disorders are occurring everywhere. it's really sad.

You really seem on the edge right now and I think you need to try and make some conscious, and logical decision here to avoid a relapse. You deserve and owe yourself the right to take care of yourself. By taking care of yourself you need to continue with the AMAZING progress you've been doing -- I mean you've been keeping healthy and eating meals daily! Your weight is staying in the absolute PERFECT spot and things really are going great for you. Why do you want to leave this all behind? You deserve every bit of this amazing progress you've done for yourself. Things have just started going great.

Maybe it's because of the fact that you feel you don't deserve all of this that you are planning on having a relapse. Well let me tell you, you deserve every single bit of it no matter how hard it is for you to grasp this. I'm telling you, continue with the great progress you've been doing.

I know that it'll now be tough to change your mind, but you have to realise that you earned the right to be a healthy weight and continue along this path. You mentioned that you have so much going on that it would take a week to explain it all. I think you should use all this energy and: write! Write everything you feel, write every single thing you feel inside of you, let everything out on paper. Let all the negative emotions just absorb into the paper. Keep only the positives and know that you deserve to continue on and there is no reason to switch things up. You are doing great, your an amazing person just by reading a little about you, and it would absolutely sadden me to know that you relapsed.

I hope to hear more from you, and I hope you make the right choice of continuing to stay at this great weight you've got to.

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you're an amazing writer.
and as easy as it would be to say, "okay. I will. ty so much for the advice. i'm all better" i can't. i'm going to try and be as honest as possible on here because no one i know is on this site ( i don't want them to know). it's the hardest thing to explain in the world, but i'm happier when i'm skinnier. and i want so much to be happier. but i also know how to stop. i've done it before and i'll do it again. you are so kind.
God bless

And I completely agree with you. You can't just take my advice and suddenly have a changed mind. It's your job to realise how great you've been doing and the progress you've done is simply AMAZING. There is still so many people out there struggling to get their lives back on track because of their anorexia. You got it back on track and you want to backtrack because your scared and feel like your happier as a 'skinny' individual.

You can't just have a changed mind just like that. But what you need to realise is that you deserve to take action and do things that will prevent you from going into a relapse. This can be going to a counsellor near you, continuing to join in on more things such as running that you have a passion for so that you don't have to care about your physical appearance as you click into that things that makes you happy. Try and gather a big supportive environment around you, discuss this with your mom who cares about you oh so much. If you ever feel down just call her or someone you feel comfortable talking to on a vocal level and tell them whats bothering you.

You need to change your mindset and realise a relapse isn't an option because there are so many things out there to try!

But I really am impressed by the progress you've done just by re-reading your first post, so I really hope you take care of yourself!

:)

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FORUM. ARCADE. BLOGS. PHOTOS.
~~~~~~ "Go with the flow!" ~~~~~~