She wanted to wait until marriage.  I had no problem with that, I loved her and she loved me, so I told her it was no problem.  I told her I was a virgin as well (which I was) and I was waiting for the special moment.  She was confused since I didn't have a definite boundry to cross like she did, so I explained to her that I was waiting for someone who I really felt I wanted to share it with; ie. love not lust.

After a few weeks into the relationship her and did nothing but keep getting closer.  We also lived together, so we often made trips back home together and hung out all weekend back at our houses.  I met her whole family, and slowly became a part of it.  Her mother lost her virginity at 16 and became pregnant; her father was the one and they are now happily married with 4 children.  Her eldest sister lost her virginity around freshman year in college and became pregnant too.  Her husband has recently divorced and left her after 5 years of marriage.

We got ahead of ourselves...we clicked more than we have with anyone else, and she told me one night that she didn't want to wait and wanted to have sex.  I told her that she should really think about this decision more, and I denied her for a week or so until she finally convinced me she was ready.  So, we had sex.  It all lasted for a week and a half or so until she realized she wasn't ready.  She was having emotional problems.  She's a devout catholic, and wanted to wait until marriage most likely because of her religion.  She stopped going to church as much, stopped being so physically active in sports, and we stopped doing so much.  We still saw eachother all day every day but we sat around a lot more, and I could tell she was emotionally going downhill.

Toward the end of the week and a half we were having sex, she told me afterwards she was ovullating.  She looked up online if she could get pregnant from pulling out, and realized she could.  This is where her emotional problem hit an extreme.  She lost it, and went haywire for a few minutes.  She was beginning to cry hysterically, and just like I have the whole relationship, I held her and talked her through it.  She relaxed, but we broke up soon after.

She began hanging out with another guy that she's not really attracted to that much, but he likes her and he allows her to forget everything she's done.  She's told me that she doesn't like him much, and I've talked to her about how she REALLY dislikes who she's become and what she's done.  When I first met her she was a very honest, friendly, fun woman.  Now, she has lied to me on two serious occasions (hysterically confessed a day or two later), and we've gotten to the point where we aren't talking a whole lot right now.

She's run back and forth between me and this other guy who allows her to hide from what she's done, and eventually it was so emotionally straining on me that I told her she had to take time away from the both of us to decide what she wanted.  She said okay, but what ended up happening is she caved in and took time away from me, but hangs out with him almost all day every day now.  He's effectively my replacement, and although she has no feelings for him and their relationship (she hasn't been public about dating him, so by talking to her and all of our mutual friends I know she doesn't want to date him), it still hurts me.  She both told me and had her sister tell me that she needed time away from me, so that's what I've given her.  We stopped talking for a few days, and I knew it hurt her..as it hurt me.  She asked for her halloween costume back, and then we started talking about a common TV show we both like that not many people around our college do.  We laughed a bit and got excited talking about it, and it was nice to have fun with her again.  However, she's still spending time with him, away from me, and she's still VERY mixed up and hurt by all of this.  She hasn't tried to hang out with me really--my original plan was to not talk much if at all until at least thanksgiving (about 2 weeks away from when we started taking time)--but she has offered to help me with my calculus because I have an exam this coming monday.

So, that is my pridicement.  I didn't really mean to explain the whole situation, but I'm hoping it will clarify some things about my position.

We shared our virginity, she has told me she was glad it was with me, she'd just rather have had it happen later.  The main emotional strain on her is the fact that she went back on her decision to wait until marriage, but even moreso she was afraid of becoming pregnant unexpectedly like her mother and sister.  When she was coming back to me for the 3rd or so time of going back and forth, I let her go so she could sort herself out.  I love her so much, and that's a big reason I let her go to do what she wanted.  We've been talking a bit more lately, although I'm still unsure what to do. She's connected me to this whole sex problem, and because of that she's pushing me away.  When she isn't fooling herself with hiding from her problems, she tells me she really does still love me and is having a hard time with all of this, but when she hides we still talk, but she keeps her distance from me.

Will she ever stop associating me with her problem of hating herself for what she gave into?

Will she ever get over and accept what happened?

We have started talking again, and having some fun, but will she ever look past what the bad things that COULD have happened, and remember the entire reason she did it in the first place?

She's pushed me away because of all this, but she still wants me to be here because she's come back to me a few times, and she still talks to me when she sees me.  I know she still needs time, but it's so difficult for me to give her it; I miss her so much every day.  Even though we talk, she doesn't make an effort to talk to me (only on the rare occasion she sees me in person and then she calls out to me), so I know she still needs a bit of time.

How much time should I give her? A movie we wanted to watch together comes out thanksgiving break, should I ask her to go to it with me, and when?

What should I really do?  I've told her I'm here for her when she needs me and I'm here for support, and I've told her that God has absolute forgiveness.  I'm not really sure what else to do...

any advice and/or answers to these questions would really help me out.  Thanks!

I know she still has some feelings for me in there, but she's restraining herself so she can hide from what she's done to herself.  She's spending time with another guy, a rebound, and has been for the past few weeks to hide from all of this.  She's only been able to spend time with him and not me for the past week, and whenever she sees me she enjoys talking with me.  She makes an effort to say goodbye even when he's around, so I know she still cares.

I guess the only thing I can do is let her go, move on past her, and perhaps something in the future will happen, but I can't count on it.  It's such a shame that the best connection I've ever had ends like this.  If we had such a great connection, then it should be rekindled in the future.

Thanks for advice everyone.