i have been super sick for over a week and i am really scared to go to the health clinic i am terrified of doctors. But i have missed alot of class and I am falling behind and I am sooo scared because i have a test coming up and i think i am going to fail it and im not doing so hot in my other classes and if I don't pass everything my grammy won't give me money for school and then I can't come here, but she just doesn't understand that i go to one of the top engineering schools in the country and that pretty much everybody fails a class or two their freshmen year. I miss my family and my friends back home but teh weather has been really crappy and my car can't handle it until i put new tires on so I can't go home and my best friend in the whole world who was also my boyfriend for over a year but we broke up before i left for college is leaving for 2 years on wedsnday and the chances that i will ever see/talk to him again are pretty much slim to none. y roomate who is also my closest friend is turning into someone i don't even know anymore she gets trashed every weekend and most weeknights and is flunking a bunch of classes because she stays up til 4 or 5 or 6 in the morning and then doesn't come home (she hasns't slept in her own bed in about a month and a half) and she's turning really mean. i was dating a guy up here and we had been together for about 2 months but he dumped me friday night cuz i wouldn't have sex with him. i threw up this morning and i am soo tired and frustrated. i miss having friends i can talk and i wish i could disappear into the crowd but i am a girl at a school thati s only 23% female so everyone knows the girls and i get hit on all the time and guys expect so much out of me!!! why does everyone except so much out of me?
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